Well, I have almost completed month number eight of well-being. The longest consecutive stretch of well-being since I got sick back in August 2007.
YAHOO! And thank you Source! And thank me! Has not always been easy. Especially when early on, meds were offered and recommended. So easy to go for the quick fix, when that may and often does makes things worse. Although on the onset and the surface, things seem so much better.
Anywho, with Thanksgiving just passed, I am so grateful for all the folks and things that crossed my path to help me. Give me courage and heart to stay mostly in integrity with my beliefs around holistic medicine and holistic healing. Encourage me. Support me.
And as the year-end approaches, I am grateful for my continued improvement. And a chance to give back.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
YUK!
Wednesday, 21 October 2009 10:21 A.M.
Well, it's been a while since my last post. All the good days makes the bad one (like today) seem non-existent. Funny how that is! That one rotten apple can spoil the entire bushel of good ones! What is it in me/us that is so quick to look or seek the negative when in fact there are tons of positives. That said, how did I get to today....well, I decided that since I rested my inflamed toe joint/ball of my foot on Monday, that yesterday entitled us to go get a glucose screening and walk about a while. This is despite the toe joint/ball of my foot protesting. So all last night, sleep was distrupted because, yup, you guessed it - my toe joint/ball of my foot was not comfortable. So now, she's elevated. And soon to get another icing. And all's happy. That meant whatever I wanted to do that would have entailed me going out, walking, standing, etc, is out the door now. And she is telling me now - that gives you loads of time to catch on all those things that you can do while sitting. Or lying down. Thus the blogging.
So, how am I these day? Well, I am moving through my seventh month of consecutive well-being. Amazing what our systems will do when given time and nourishment. Saying no to the usual medications and quick fixes in hindsight is/was the right choice, just takes lots of courage & patience since healing is a process that can take as long as it takes. Cannot be hurried. Goes deep below the surface.
Case in point....went to see a rolfing/cranial sacral practioner. She's also a Dancing with Source student so I was curious how she is integrating that learning into her practice. You know me - ever curious about integrating what we learn into our being! Plus had been wanting help since it seemed my range of motion in both shoulders was returning, yet both shoulders seems to be holding on and resisting. This was despite physical and energetic work to-date. Well during the first session, she was gently holding my arm, when I mentioned to the practioner about the two falls I had on my left side this past June - both within 7 days of each other. Both of us felt the muscle inside immediately release and relax. And the session last week, I specifically wanted to release anything related to a traumatic water incident I had two years ago where my right side was involved. That was last Friday. And today, well, both shoulders feel more relaxed. And the range of motion is much better.
Otherwise, it's ok to have a yuk day! YUK YUK YUK! This way the yuk-ness moves through our systems and out. For resisting it, denying it, only causes it to get absorbed into our system. And once absorbed, believe you me, it takes identifying it, which ain't always easy. Then asking it to leave.
Well, it's been a while since my last post. All the good days makes the bad one (like today) seem non-existent. Funny how that is! That one rotten apple can spoil the entire bushel of good ones! What is it in me/us that is so quick to look or seek the negative when in fact there are tons of positives. That said, how did I get to today....well, I decided that since I rested my inflamed toe joint/ball of my foot on Monday, that yesterday entitled us to go get a glucose screening and walk about a while. This is despite the toe joint/ball of my foot protesting. So all last night, sleep was distrupted because, yup, you guessed it - my toe joint/ball of my foot was not comfortable. So now, she's elevated. And soon to get another icing. And all's happy. That meant whatever I wanted to do that would have entailed me going out, walking, standing, etc, is out the door now. And she is telling me now - that gives you loads of time to catch on all those things that you can do while sitting. Or lying down. Thus the blogging.
So, how am I these day? Well, I am moving through my seventh month of consecutive well-being. Amazing what our systems will do when given time and nourishment. Saying no to the usual medications and quick fixes in hindsight is/was the right choice, just takes lots of courage & patience since healing is a process that can take as long as it takes. Cannot be hurried. Goes deep below the surface.
Case in point....went to see a rolfing/cranial sacral practioner. She's also a Dancing with Source student so I was curious how she is integrating that learning into her practice. You know me - ever curious about integrating what we learn into our being! Plus had been wanting help since it seemed my range of motion in both shoulders was returning, yet both shoulders seems to be holding on and resisting. This was despite physical and energetic work to-date. Well during the first session, she was gently holding my arm, when I mentioned to the practioner about the two falls I had on my left side this past June - both within 7 days of each other. Both of us felt the muscle inside immediately release and relax. And the session last week, I specifically wanted to release anything related to a traumatic water incident I had two years ago where my right side was involved. That was last Friday. And today, well, both shoulders feel more relaxed. And the range of motion is much better.
Otherwise, it's ok to have a yuk day! YUK YUK YUK! This way the yuk-ness moves through our systems and out. For resisting it, denying it, only causes it to get absorbed into our system. And once absorbed, believe you me, it takes identifying it, which ain't always easy. Then asking it to leave.
Monday, August 31, 2009
flow....synchronicity
Monday, August 31, 2009 11:52 am
Well, noticing how my morning pages flow into the random cards selected after I complete my morning pages. So thought I would share my cards randomly drawn this morning. Each one supports a different part of me: the healing part, the self-care part, the child part, the spiritual part, the power part, mother feminine within part. And recently I added in a thought provoking card deck for the stretching beyond the comfort zone part.
Here’s what showed up today (and it’s right on target for where I find myself NOW - there's that synchronicity again - LOVE IT!)……
Decisions. Honor your top priorities. If it’s not an absolute Yes, this is a No. Cheryl Richardson’s Self-Care cards.
I cross all bridges with joy & ease. The “old” unfolds into wonderful new experiences. My life gets better all the time. I am safe for it’s only change. Louise Hay’s Power Thoughts cards.
All suffering stems from ignorance, hatred, craving. Healing requires you admist the truth about yourself. Is there someone you hate? Or something you crave? Are you an addict? Recognizing your struggles is the first step towards healing. Carolyn Myss Healing Cards.
I am Happy. I smile, I laugh, and enjoy being alive. Susan Howson For Kids – Manifest Your Magnificence cards.
Today, I practice humility. Amma spiritual cards.
When others are interpreting, analyzing, advising, or directing you. They really are connunicating what they believe would be appropriate for themselves were they in your situation. Remember this, if you chose to hear their voices. Remember too that in the deep knowing place inside you, you are the world’s only and best authority on you. Practice listening inwardly instead of outwardly. Robyn Posin Feminine and Mother Within cards.
We respect people who are not afraid to stand-up for their beliefs. What do you believe in….and would you stand up for it? LifeBite cards. What I wrote was this: I believe in ME and would I stand up for ME! Yes and No. This is a good question to pose to me at this time. Since I am in the midst of believing in me 100& and completely. AND standing up for ME.
Onward ho to fun, living, joy! Each of us deserves all the endless abundance there is!
Well, noticing how my morning pages flow into the random cards selected after I complete my morning pages. So thought I would share my cards randomly drawn this morning. Each one supports a different part of me: the healing part, the self-care part, the child part, the spiritual part, the power part, mother feminine within part. And recently I added in a thought provoking card deck for the stretching beyond the comfort zone part.
Here’s what showed up today (and it’s right on target for where I find myself NOW - there's that synchronicity again - LOVE IT!)……
Decisions. Honor your top priorities. If it’s not an absolute Yes, this is a No. Cheryl Richardson’s Self-Care cards.
I cross all bridges with joy & ease. The “old” unfolds into wonderful new experiences. My life gets better all the time. I am safe for it’s only change. Louise Hay’s Power Thoughts cards.
All suffering stems from ignorance, hatred, craving. Healing requires you admist the truth about yourself. Is there someone you hate? Or something you crave? Are you an addict? Recognizing your struggles is the first step towards healing. Carolyn Myss Healing Cards.
I am Happy. I smile, I laugh, and enjoy being alive. Susan Howson For Kids – Manifest Your Magnificence cards.
Today, I practice humility. Amma spiritual cards.
When others are interpreting, analyzing, advising, or directing you. They really are connunicating what they believe would be appropriate for themselves were they in your situation. Remember this, if you chose to hear their voices. Remember too that in the deep knowing place inside you, you are the world’s only and best authority on you. Practice listening inwardly instead of outwardly. Robyn Posin Feminine and Mother Within cards.
We respect people who are not afraid to stand-up for their beliefs. What do you believe in….and would you stand up for it? LifeBite cards. What I wrote was this: I believe in ME and would I stand up for ME! Yes and No. This is a good question to pose to me at this time. Since I am in the midst of believing in me 100& and completely. AND standing up for ME.
Onward ho to fun, living, joy! Each of us deserves all the endless abundance there is!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
WOW!
Thursday, 20 August 2009 11:47 pm
WOW! Yes things can change in a moment.
As I reflect back on my last two days, I am grateful, blessed, not alone, happy!
On Tues, while I was typing my blog entry, I suddenly got nauseated and headachy, so I laid down and became very cold and goosebumpy (even under a warm comforter). Asked Source, Archangels, Ascended Masters like Buddha, Quan Yin, Christ, for help in clearing whatever had suddenly brought on these physical symptoms as there certainly was no physical reasons. Anywho, definitely was not well. Feel asleep & woke up in time to make the Dancing with Source 5:45 pm meditation call, yet did it lying on my couch. The meditation was helpful. Then I was to be on a healing circle call, so planned to get on the call and bow out, yet a voice within said no, show up. So then I explained what was going on with me. And the space was disorganized. And finally one woman said she felt disconnected. And then I heard a voice that said check that you're supposed to be dowsing. And it turns out I was supposed to show up just not dowse. So once I did that, the space cleared and things flowed. The healing circle helped also. Yet my own conversations and relationship with Source, the Archangels, and the Ascended Masters is as important. So I asked for help while I was sleeping. And when I woke up @ 7 am, I definitely felt much better yet there still was this fuzzy headachy feeling. So I curled up and asked for more healing processes to be performed. Feel asleep and when I awoke @ 10 am, I was weak, yet felt peaceful. Greatful. My conversations often come through my journaling so when I was journaling, Source said rest, drink lots of water, go get a juice from Juicey Lucy's, and go to the ORSC gathering tonight. And I said are you sure? I'm so weak. Yes. OK. And today I am okay physically.
And what activated the sudden physical symptoms? Something in my blog from Tues definitely did. And I see now it was a challenge to see how I would be with my physical symptoms. Would I go into the identifying, rationalizing, negating all the physical reasons (and totally step over the emotional, energetic, spiritual reasons). Or would I go with using the energetic healing processes I had learned and support all of me.
Plus my relationship with Source/God wasn't like it is today. It's taken my illness to re-connect (or connect) with the things that nourish, nurture, support me. Now. If not now, then when? And one of those things is my relationship with Source. Yes, there is me. There is Source. There is our relationship. What did the Nina/Source relationship feel like before my illness? There and distant. And now? There and close.
Thank you my friends!
WOW! Yes things can change in a moment.
As I reflect back on my last two days, I am grateful, blessed, not alone, happy!
On Tues, while I was typing my blog entry, I suddenly got nauseated and headachy, so I laid down and became very cold and goosebumpy (even under a warm comforter). Asked Source, Archangels, Ascended Masters like Buddha, Quan Yin, Christ, for help in clearing whatever had suddenly brought on these physical symptoms as there certainly was no physical reasons. Anywho, definitely was not well. Feel asleep & woke up in time to make the Dancing with Source 5:45 pm meditation call, yet did it lying on my couch. The meditation was helpful. Then I was to be on a healing circle call, so planned to get on the call and bow out, yet a voice within said no, show up. So then I explained what was going on with me. And the space was disorganized. And finally one woman said she felt disconnected. And then I heard a voice that said check that you're supposed to be dowsing. And it turns out I was supposed to show up just not dowse. So once I did that, the space cleared and things flowed. The healing circle helped also. Yet my own conversations and relationship with Source, the Archangels, and the Ascended Masters is as important. So I asked for help while I was sleeping. And when I woke up @ 7 am, I definitely felt much better yet there still was this fuzzy headachy feeling. So I curled up and asked for more healing processes to be performed. Feel asleep and when I awoke @ 10 am, I was weak, yet felt peaceful. Greatful. My conversations often come through my journaling so when I was journaling, Source said rest, drink lots of water, go get a juice from Juicey Lucy's, and go to the ORSC gathering tonight. And I said are you sure? I'm so weak. Yes. OK. And today I am okay physically.
And what activated the sudden physical symptoms? Something in my blog from Tues definitely did. And I see now it was a challenge to see how I would be with my physical symptoms. Would I go into the identifying, rationalizing, negating all the physical reasons (and totally step over the emotional, energetic, spiritual reasons). Or would I go with using the energetic healing processes I had learned and support all of me.
Plus my relationship with Source/God wasn't like it is today. It's taken my illness to re-connect (or connect) with the things that nourish, nurture, support me. Now. If not now, then when? And one of those things is my relationship with Source. Yes, there is me. There is Source. There is our relationship. What did the Nina/Source relationship feel like before my illness? There and distant. And now? There and close.
Thank you my friends!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tuesday, 18 August 12:37 pm
Tuesday, 18 August 12:37 pm
Well now, how am I? I tested the waters this past Sat & Sun. Tested my energy & stamina level. Assisted @ a two-day Organization & Relationship Systems (ORSC) Fundamentals course. And happy that it was 2-days. AND I set aside yesterday for processing, integration, rest. Even today, I am happy that I do not have anything on my calendar that I must do. All good. I needed to stretch my muscles so to speak. And see what I can do today. All in time. My energy and stamina level continues to get stronger as I continue to convalesce. Thank you God for these tests and challenges that help me stretch my choice muscles. My discernment muscles. My trust muscles. My self-care muscles. All my muscles! And in doing so I realize I have not been leaning into my friends. And asking for help from others. And I am about to do that with my home. Definitely stuff needs to be cleared out. Non-beneficial stuff to make room for the beneficial stuff. And for those who have known me a long time--there's a lot of stuff. So I will ask for help. And see what happens.
Plus a chat with a friend - something happened that scared the s--- out of me. Suddenly I was overcome with this very stern and powerful sounding voice that started telling her something. And I was thinking this is not me speaking for I could not stop talking. I told my friend this. WOW, talk about the voice of the system. Her system. And I realized what I said to her, I also needed to hear. Just as I make time to be with a dear friend. Just as I make time each day to be with my self. So it is that I make time to be with Source......daily. Not drive by time. Not when it's convenient. Scheduled time. Sacred time with self. with a friend. with Source. So I feel supported when things happen in my life. So I feel like I have a community beside me as I face anything: bliss, celebration, a decision, a problem, illness. And believe me, this relationship between God/Source and I was not always there. It took me finally, bellying up to the bar and laying down my contributions to all that had happened between us. Yes, the serenity prayer is a good one to remember. courage to change those things that I can. serenity to accept those I cannot. wisdom to know the difference. Thank you God/Source!
So how am I now? Humbled. Nauseated (physical symbol that something non-physical is wanting and will be released from me for there is no physical reason for this nausea). Peaceful. Tired.
And so I will end this blog entry with my responses to these two questions from Cafe Gratitude -- two questions come daily to my e-mail box. I don't always view & answer them. Today I felt called to respond. And to blog.
On Tue, Aug 18, 2009 at 11:00 AM, Chy Barrwrote:
What do you say you don't have enough of?
I don't have enough courage to release the stuff in my home that no longer serves it. To go through the grieving that comes from letting go of something familiar. Comfortable.
What is your gift to the world?
My williness to show up. To try. To fail.
--~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~
Thank you for subscribing to Cafe Gratitude's Question of the Day!
Well now, how am I? I tested the waters this past Sat & Sun. Tested my energy & stamina level. Assisted @ a two-day Organization & Relationship Systems (ORSC) Fundamentals course. And happy that it was 2-days. AND I set aside yesterday for processing, integration, rest. Even today, I am happy that I do not have anything on my calendar that I must do. All good. I needed to stretch my muscles so to speak. And see what I can do today. All in time. My energy and stamina level continues to get stronger as I continue to convalesce. Thank you God for these tests and challenges that help me stretch my choice muscles. My discernment muscles. My trust muscles. My self-care muscles. All my muscles! And in doing so I realize I have not been leaning into my friends. And asking for help from others. And I am about to do that with my home. Definitely stuff needs to be cleared out. Non-beneficial stuff to make room for the beneficial stuff. And for those who have known me a long time--there's a lot of stuff. So I will ask for help. And see what happens.
Plus a chat with a friend - something happened that scared the s--- out of me. Suddenly I was overcome with this very stern and powerful sounding voice that started telling her something. And I was thinking this is not me speaking for I could not stop talking. I told my friend this. WOW, talk about the voice of the system. Her system. And I realized what I said to her, I also needed to hear. Just as I make time to be with a dear friend. Just as I make time each day to be with my self. So it is that I make time to be with Source......daily. Not drive by time. Not when it's convenient. Scheduled time. Sacred time with self. with a friend. with Source. So I feel supported when things happen in my life. So I feel like I have a community beside me as I face anything: bliss, celebration, a decision, a problem, illness. And believe me, this relationship between God/Source and I was not always there. It took me finally, bellying up to the bar and laying down my contributions to all that had happened between us. Yes, the serenity prayer is a good one to remember. courage to change those things that I can. serenity to accept those I cannot. wisdom to know the difference. Thank you God/Source!
So how am I now? Humbled. Nauseated (physical symbol that something non-physical is wanting and will be released from me for there is no physical reason for this nausea). Peaceful. Tired.
And so I will end this blog entry with my responses to these two questions from Cafe Gratitude -- two questions come daily to my e-mail box. I don't always view & answer them. Today I felt called to respond. And to blog.
On Tue, Aug 18, 2009 at 11:00 AM, Chy Barr
What do you say you don't have enough of?
I don't have enough courage to release the stuff in my home that no longer serves it. To go through the grieving that comes from letting go of something familiar. Comfortable.
What is your gift to the world?
My williness to show up. To try. To fail.
--~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~
Thank you for subscribing to Cafe Gratitude's Question of the Day!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
causes
Sunday, 7 June 2009 12:46 am PDT
Be mindful what you ask for! When I became ill during August 2007, I kept asking doctors what caused the diagnoses that each gave me. Source was also listening. So while doctors pointed me towards fixes, etc. I held out--searching for causes not just on the physical plane......beyond.
I'm not just a pack-rat (recovering as I LOL) with my home stuff, also within. As I reflect on the past 2 years, the cause of my physical stuff was a lot of stuff I held onto within. Sometimes consciously, alot of times unconsciously, sometimes my stuff, other times stuff absorbed from others. And the body is very wise, within said "We've had it! Enough is enough! OUT! NOW! For if not NOW, when?" Within says this through our lifetime, we just deny, ignore, dismiss, avoid, until we can no longer stand the pain of doing so. And in my case, my time came August 2007.
Happy to say, I continue to cleanse, clear a lot of stuff. Kinda like eatting. The body nourishes and eliminates what it does not need or want. And for stuff beyond the physical, we each use processes, tools, exercises that nourish and eliminate what is not needed or wanted. For me, being in nature, walking along the ocean or any body of water, noticing my breathe, writing, using the processes and tools garnered from my experiences (Dancing with Source, ORSC, coaching, CTI leadership) -- all continue to support me. And keep me connected to Source. To God. To my authentic self.
Thank you (to God)! Thank you (to Angels, Ascended Masters, Spirit Guides, Mother Earth, My Ancestors)! Thank you (to me)!
Oh, how am I? Pretty dang good these days. As Dr. Cantwell said to me "your experience becomes your evidence" and he is right on there. As I cleanse and clear my internal clutter, my physicality has improved. And I know one day, the medical tests will support what I know through and through now, healing the mind & spirit heals the body.
Be mindful what you ask for! When I became ill during August 2007, I kept asking doctors what caused the diagnoses that each gave me. Source was also listening. So while doctors pointed me towards fixes, etc. I held out--searching for causes not just on the physical plane......beyond.
I'm not just a pack-rat (recovering as I LOL) with my home stuff, also within. As I reflect on the past 2 years, the cause of my physical stuff was a lot of stuff I held onto within. Sometimes consciously, alot of times unconsciously, sometimes my stuff, other times stuff absorbed from others. And the body is very wise, within said "We've had it! Enough is enough! OUT! NOW! For if not NOW, when?" Within says this through our lifetime, we just deny, ignore, dismiss, avoid, until we can no longer stand the pain of doing so. And in my case, my time came August 2007.
Happy to say, I continue to cleanse, clear a lot of stuff. Kinda like eatting. The body nourishes and eliminates what it does not need or want. And for stuff beyond the physical, we each use processes, tools, exercises that nourish and eliminate what is not needed or wanted. For me, being in nature, walking along the ocean or any body of water, noticing my breathe, writing, using the processes and tools garnered from my experiences (Dancing with Source, ORSC, coaching, CTI leadership) -- all continue to support me. And keep me connected to Source. To God. To my authentic self.
Thank you (to God)! Thank you (to Angels, Ascended Masters, Spirit Guides, Mother Earth, My Ancestors)! Thank you (to me)!
Oh, how am I? Pretty dang good these days. As Dr. Cantwell said to me "your experience becomes your evidence" and he is right on there. As I cleanse and clear my internal clutter, my physicality has improved. And I know one day, the medical tests will support what I know through and through now, healing the mind & spirit heals the body.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My Five Favorite Childhood Foods
Wed 20 May 12 noon PDT. Lunchtime and that brings me to....
Am on week three of doing the Artist's Way. And while on my plane ride back from NC last night, I was doing the exercises at the end of week three's reading. Here was one of them.... which fits in with lunchtime and the title: My Five Favorite Childhood Foods.
List five favorite childhood foods. Buy yourself one of them this week.
The five that came up for me were:
animal crackers (in that very cute little box which I loved then & still do LOL)
underwood deviled ham (do they still make this?)
cheez-its (probably because I was eatting these on the plane ride AND while I was @ Sara & Doug's. What a blast from the past for me!)
Bill's Barbecue sandwich (only found in Richmond, VA)
Bill's Barbecue chocolate cream pie
And now I'm thinking of the limeades at Tarrant's drugstore.
Bill's BBQ keeps coming up for me since it's not something I can run to the local Safeway and buy. So I went on-line just now to see if I could order & have them send to me. What a treat that would be! And this bit of history was refreshing in this world of chains. And made me want to be there to eat the sandwich & chocolate pie and drink a limeade (cause Tarrant's drugstore is no longer).
Bill's Barbecue Richmond, Virginia Founded on June 2, 1930 in Norfolk, Virginia and moved to Richmond, Virginia one year later, Bill's BARBECUE has remained ONE family operated restaurant through the years. Bill's was started by William Steven Richardson Sr. and is now operated on a daily basis by his daughter Rhoda M. Richardson-Elliot, President. Bill's has evolved from a one unit, one window take-out to a nine unit Richmond operation located between Chesterfield to the south, Ashland to the north, and Manakin-Sabot to the west to include a broad menu of moderately priced quick service items. However, the backbone of delights is now and has always been MINCED PORK BARBECUE, CHOCOLATE PIE, AND FRESHLY SQUEEZED LIMEADE. The Virginia hams are basted and oven roasted over 14 hours, the pies are made from scratch (crust to filling to topping), and each limeade is actually hand-squeezed into your cup as ordered. Ms. Richardson-Elliot demands the highest quality and standards for every ingredient and product sold and gets it from her associates, many of whom have been a part of Bill's well beyond 20 years. Bill's has been the recipient of many, many awards and accolades for over 70 years, but to a person on Bill's management team the greatest reward is the satisfied comment from our everyday customer. There never was a "Bill." While Senior was a William and his four boys have the first name of William, all the Richardson men (who have all worked in the company) have always used their middle names: Steven, Samuel, Christopher, and Robert. Only the daughter, Rhoda Margaret, was not a William. An out of work sign maker in 1930 named the restaurant and painted today's logo on the front window in exchange for some of the BEST BARBECUE IN THE WORLD. IT STILL IS!Thanks again RICHMOND, VIRGINIA
What are your five favorite childhood foods?
Am on week three of doing the Artist's Way. And while on my plane ride back from NC last night, I was doing the exercises at the end of week three's reading. Here was one of them.... which fits in with lunchtime and the title: My Five Favorite Childhood Foods.
List five favorite childhood foods. Buy yourself one of them this week.
The five that came up for me were:
animal crackers (in that very cute little box which I loved then & still do LOL)
underwood deviled ham (do they still make this?)
cheez-its (probably because I was eatting these on the plane ride AND while I was @ Sara & Doug's. What a blast from the past for me!)
Bill's Barbecue sandwich (only found in Richmond, VA)
Bill's Barbecue chocolate cream pie
And now I'm thinking of the limeades at Tarrant's drugstore.
Bill's BBQ keeps coming up for me since it's not something I can run to the local Safeway and buy. So I went on-line just now to see if I could order & have them send to me. What a treat that would be! And this bit of history was refreshing in this world of chains. And made me want to be there to eat the sandwich & chocolate pie and drink a limeade (cause Tarrant's drugstore is no longer).
Bill's Barbecue Richmond, Virginia Founded on June 2, 1930 in Norfolk, Virginia and moved to Richmond, Virginia one year later, Bill's BARBECUE has remained ONE family operated restaurant through the years. Bill's was started by William Steven Richardson Sr. and is now operated on a daily basis by his daughter Rhoda M. Richardson-Elliot, President. Bill's has evolved from a one unit, one window take-out to a nine unit Richmond operation located between Chesterfield to the south, Ashland to the north, and Manakin-Sabot to the west to include a broad menu of moderately priced quick service items. However, the backbone of delights is now and has always been MINCED PORK BARBECUE, CHOCOLATE PIE, AND FRESHLY SQUEEZED LIMEADE. The Virginia hams are basted and oven roasted over 14 hours, the pies are made from scratch (crust to filling to topping), and each limeade is actually hand-squeezed into your cup as ordered. Ms. Richardson-Elliot demands the highest quality and standards for every ingredient and product sold and gets it from her associates, many of whom have been a part of Bill's well beyond 20 years. Bill's has been the recipient of many, many awards and accolades for over 70 years, but to a person on Bill's management team the greatest reward is the satisfied comment from our everyday customer. There never was a "Bill." While Senior was a William and his four boys have the first name of William, all the Richardson men (who have all worked in the company) have always used their middle names: Steven, Samuel, Christopher, and Robert. Only the daughter, Rhoda Margaret, was not a William. An out of work sign maker in 1930 named the restaurant and painted today's logo on the front window in exchange for some of the BEST BARBECUE IN THE WORLD. IT STILL IS!Thanks again RICHMOND, VIRGINIA
What are your five favorite childhood foods?
thank you Chase William
20 May Wednesday 11 am PDT
Well, been a while since I've written here. Lots of Life happening around me. 26 April birth of my first grand-niece. Total surprise to the mother who realized she was pregnant when she felt the baby's head as she went to pee. Thank God that mother and baby girl are healthy and well. Yes, miracles do happen. 7 May birth of my first grand-nephew. Mother definitely expecting and ready to give birth LOL! 9 May passing of a remarkable woman, the mother of a dear & close friend. All reminders that all we really and truly have is this moment. So embrace it even when we don't like what's happening.
And that said, How Am I? In the midst of a big pile of gratitude and compassion. Considering all the happenings I noted above. And other stuff/drama shared with me since then, am happy to be living in that big pile because it takes the edge off the other stuff that's also in that pile. AND helps me BE with who I am in this minute. ALL of me.
Thank you Chase William (my 13-day old grand-nephew) for reminding me. Spending 10 days under the same roof as Chase William reminded me just what 'in the moment' means. And that I want and need to give myself full permission to be in that moment whatever it looks or feels like. One moment, Chase had a wet, poopy diaper on AND still smiled. Another moment, he had a wet. poopy diaper on AND was yelling @ the top of my lungs. And yet another moment, he had a clean, dry diaper on AND was either yelling or smiling. And once that moment passed, it was gone and replaced with another, and another.
Somewhere along the way, I not only let my moments pass and be replaced with another. I also held onto some moments as if they were present moments. And am thankfully doing what it takes to release them so I can restore that part of being a baby that got hidden along the way.
Well, been a while since I've written here. Lots of Life happening around me. 26 April birth of my first grand-niece. Total surprise to the mother who realized she was pregnant when she felt the baby's head as she went to pee. Thank God that mother and baby girl are healthy and well. Yes, miracles do happen. 7 May birth of my first grand-nephew. Mother definitely expecting and ready to give birth LOL! 9 May passing of a remarkable woman, the mother of a dear & close friend. All reminders that all we really and truly have is this moment. So embrace it even when we don't like what's happening.
And that said, How Am I? In the midst of a big pile of gratitude and compassion. Considering all the happenings I noted above. And other stuff/drama shared with me since then, am happy to be living in that big pile because it takes the edge off the other stuff that's also in that pile. AND helps me BE with who I am in this minute. ALL of me.
Thank you Chase William (my 13-day old grand-nephew) for reminding me. Spending 10 days under the same roof as Chase William reminded me just what 'in the moment' means. And that I want and need to give myself full permission to be in that moment whatever it looks or feels like. One moment, Chase had a wet, poopy diaper on AND still smiled. Another moment, he had a wet. poopy diaper on AND was yelling @ the top of my lungs. And yet another moment, he had a clean, dry diaper on AND was either yelling or smiling. And once that moment passed, it was gone and replaced with another, and another.
Somewhere along the way, I not only let my moments pass and be replaced with another. I also held onto some moments as if they were present moments. And am thankfully doing what it takes to release them so I can restore that part of being a baby that got hidden along the way.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Celebrate
cel•e•brate
transitive verb
1: to perform (a sacrament or solemn ceremony) publicly and with appropriate rites
2 a: to honor (as a holiday) especially by solemn ceremonies or by refraining from ordinary business b: to mark (as an anniversary) by festivities or other deviation from routine3: to hold up or play up for public notice
intransitive verb
1: to observe a holiday, perform a religious ceremony, or take part in a festival
2: to observe a notable occasion with festivities
Take a moment….
Oh phooey, take a whole day!
And celebrate!
Really bask
In all that is
Blessed,
Good,
Joyous
About your life!
And then tell someone.
Anyone.
Everyone.
What you are
Celebrating!
Spread celebration!
Nina Chong
====
That is what I did on Friday. And now that I think about it, yesterday. Really basked in the things that are blessed and good in my life. Like......
hearing the lovely birds singing to each other (and me) as I walked near Crissy Field yesterday. I thanked the two as I walked past where they were sitting in the bush.
the girl working @ Sports Basement yesterday who asked me if she could help me find something (and I could tell she meant it).
same girl found me several pairs of shoes. Come to think of it - forgot to thank her for her help. Thank you through the ether!
the comfy couches in Sports Basement shoe department. My feet took a very long time to figure out which shoes they liked, so I enjoyed the time out lounging.
my easy access via foot or bus to nature be it water (the Bay, the Ocean) or green grass (Washington Square Park, Fort Mason, Crissy Field, Presidio, Golden Gate Park).
the interesting tree shapes as I walked around town. So beautiful I told them.
the roses are blooming. Stop and smell the roses - it's awesome!
all the folks out walking, biking, running, playing, sitting, laying in the sun. happy and enjoying their day. And all the dogs a-playing.
the happy baby behind me on the bus wth this huge grin each time I turned and smiled @ him.
the stiffness in my body telling me I'd sat too long.
the tenderness in my toe joints telling me it's time to walk around AND we walked too much yesterday.
a warm night in San Francisco -- AHHHH!
my yummy veggies from Capay Farm's delivery cut and tossed as a tasty raw salad. With great Katz vinegar and olive oil from Napa Valley. So blessed to have GREAT organic veggies close by!
fresh and clean water to drink whenever I want it from my kitchen tap, with a lot of help from Hetch Hetchy Reservoir and my newly installed Conscious Living water filtration system.
my trigger fingers telling me it's time to stop using my hands and give them a rest.
being alive!
transitive verb
1: to perform (a sacrament or solemn ceremony) publicly and with appropriate rites
2 a: to honor (as a holiday) especially by solemn ceremonies or by refraining from ordinary business b: to mark (as an anniversary) by festivities or other deviation from routine3: to hold up or play up for public notice
intransitive verb
1: to observe a holiday, perform a religious ceremony, or take part in a festival
2: to observe a notable occasion with festivities
Take a moment….
Oh phooey, take a whole day!
And celebrate!
Really bask
In all that is
Blessed,
Good,
Joyous
About your life!
And then tell someone.
Anyone.
Everyone.
What you are
Celebrating!
Spread celebration!
Nina Chong
====
That is what I did on Friday. And now that I think about it, yesterday. Really basked in the things that are blessed and good in my life. Like......
hearing the lovely birds singing to each other (and me) as I walked near Crissy Field yesterday. I thanked the two as I walked past where they were sitting in the bush.
the girl working @ Sports Basement yesterday who asked me if she could help me find something (and I could tell she meant it).
same girl found me several pairs of shoes. Come to think of it - forgot to thank her for her help. Thank you through the ether!
the comfy couches in Sports Basement shoe department. My feet took a very long time to figure out which shoes they liked, so I enjoyed the time out lounging.
my easy access via foot or bus to nature be it water (the Bay, the Ocean) or green grass (Washington Square Park, Fort Mason, Crissy Field, Presidio, Golden Gate Park).
the interesting tree shapes as I walked around town. So beautiful I told them.
the roses are blooming. Stop and smell the roses - it's awesome!
all the folks out walking, biking, running, playing, sitting, laying in the sun. happy and enjoying their day. And all the dogs a-playing.
the happy baby behind me on the bus wth this huge grin each time I turned and smiled @ him.
the stiffness in my body telling me I'd sat too long.
the tenderness in my toe joints telling me it's time to walk around AND we walked too much yesterday.
a warm night in San Francisco -- AHHHH!
my yummy veggies from Capay Farm's delivery cut and tossed as a tasty raw salad. With great Katz vinegar and olive oil from Napa Valley. So blessed to have GREAT organic veggies close by!
fresh and clean water to drink whenever I want it from my kitchen tap, with a lot of help from Hetch Hetchy Reservoir and my newly installed Conscious Living water filtration system.
my trigger fingers telling me it's time to stop using my hands and give them a rest.
being alive!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
5 April to 21 April - WOW!
Sunday, 5 April, I did healing work with my Dancing with Source http://www.dancingwithsource.com/ teacher Ashley. Based on what I recounted to her RE: my Friday consult with Dr. Michael, she checked and while I was congruent with trusting Jesus. And trusting the Holy Spirit. I was not with trusting God. And that included disempowering core beliefs, patterns, programs, etc. around that. We did a lot of processes to heal any & all things related to not trusting God. And Source indicated it would be about 14-1/2 days for all these processes to complete.
As with any protocol I've tried since I got ill way back when, I just notice and see what happens in the days afterward. And it's been pretty interesting. My morning pages capture quite a bit from the nocturnal world. Figure this is the raw material for insights when I read them months/years from now. Journaling and blogging capture the rest as much as I can. I hear Dr. Michael's words "your experience becomes your evidence".
Tuesday (7 April) definitely noticed a shift in my energy and creativity level from the moment I was jolted awake @ 6 AM by a feeling coursing up through my body, from the base of my spine, all the way up and out. Like an orgasm. YES, I remember the dream was sexual. 'Cause I was holding what I thought was a vibrator yet it turned in to this violet colored crystal that was long and rectangular shaped. Regardless, this surge jolted me wide awake. And then I had abdominal cramping and needed to have a bowel movement. And instead of falling back asleep, I tossed and turned wondering what just happened. And is this the kundalini (sp??) energy that Ashley spoke of on Sunday as I asked her to explain what that is. And then I hear voices saying you don't need to be validated by anyone except you. Or approved. Or loved. And then saying copy the cards and make up packages for your women's support group. 6. random. OK?
So for the first time in a long while, I was wide awake @ 7:30 am doing my morning pages. And then copying cards and making up packages for my women's support group for transition. 6 packages with 5 random cards from my card decks: inner child, inner goddess, healing, self-care, power. And then I kept my date with my self - Legion of Honor to see the Lalique, Tiffany, and Faberge special exhibit. And rested several times outside the Legion's cafe before walking a while. The rest was GREATLY appreciated as I noticed my energy level felt restored after each rest. And the conversations with the six women in my support group were inspiring. And afterwards when three of us went for tea.
Now it is 21 April. What a fast, experiential, evidential two weeks it's been. Definitely noticing what topics energize me as I talk about them. Or what lights me up inside when others interact with me. Folks journeying to his/her authentic self (like me). In whatever form that looks like, yet I see it. Sense it. Each doing what each does, one baby step at a time. To witness that. To facilitate another's healing work. What a gift! What an honor! What an edge for me! Thank you God for all that has brought me to this moment! Practice, patience, choices, noticing - all help me hear that deep voice inside that is connected to you! My fragments are re-integrating. And working together now.
WOW! I hear Dr. Micheal "your experience will become your evidence". And Ashley "before it happens physically, it happens energetically."
As with any protocol I've tried since I got ill way back when, I just notice and see what happens in the days afterward. And it's been pretty interesting. My morning pages capture quite a bit from the nocturnal world. Figure this is the raw material for insights when I read them months/years from now. Journaling and blogging capture the rest as much as I can. I hear Dr. Michael's words "your experience becomes your evidence".
Tuesday (7 April) definitely noticed a shift in my energy and creativity level from the moment I was jolted awake @ 6 AM by a feeling coursing up through my body, from the base of my spine, all the way up and out. Like an orgasm. YES, I remember the dream was sexual. 'Cause I was holding what I thought was a vibrator yet it turned in to this violet colored crystal that was long and rectangular shaped. Regardless, this surge jolted me wide awake. And then I had abdominal cramping and needed to have a bowel movement. And instead of falling back asleep, I tossed and turned wondering what just happened. And is this the kundalini (sp??) energy that Ashley spoke of on Sunday as I asked her to explain what that is. And then I hear voices saying you don't need to be validated by anyone except you. Or approved. Or loved. And then saying copy the cards and make up packages for your women's support group. 6. random. OK?
So for the first time in a long while, I was wide awake @ 7:30 am doing my morning pages. And then copying cards and making up packages for my women's support group for transition. 6 packages with 5 random cards from my card decks: inner child, inner goddess, healing, self-care, power. And then I kept my date with my self - Legion of Honor to see the Lalique, Tiffany, and Faberge special exhibit. And rested several times outside the Legion's cafe before walking a while. The rest was GREATLY appreciated as I noticed my energy level felt restored after each rest. And the conversations with the six women in my support group were inspiring. And afterwards when three of us went for tea.
Now it is 21 April. What a fast, experiential, evidential two weeks it's been. Definitely noticing what topics energize me as I talk about them. Or what lights me up inside when others interact with me. Folks journeying to his/her authentic self (like me). In whatever form that looks like, yet I see it. Sense it. Each doing what each does, one baby step at a time. To witness that. To facilitate another's healing work. What a gift! What an honor! What an edge for me! Thank you God for all that has brought me to this moment! Practice, patience, choices, noticing - all help me hear that deep voice inside that is connected to you! My fragments are re-integrating. And working together now.
WOW! I hear Dr. Micheal "your experience will become your evidence". And Ashley "before it happens physically, it happens energetically."
Friday, April 3, 2009
choice and decision point
Friday, 3 April 2009 10:33 PM PDT
Well, what a day! Started off quite early for me as I dragged myself out of bed and then my home to my 9 AM (yes 9 AM) follow-up appointment with Dr. Michael (Cantwell). The integrative MD who had me test for heavy metal toxicity. Boy was I tired by the time I got there. Have been sleeping an average of 9 hours since I got sick way back when AND have gotten used to being tired when I wake up.
AND it was a 45-minute appt that gave me info I needed. For I'd been asking Source for help and guidance on what's blocking me. And I'd been getting signs this week also. We spent the bulk of the 45 minutes discussing where I was spiritually. And how that factored into where I was physically. I like Dr. Michael. He laser-ed into my core with some deep questions.
Bottom-line: I am fighting my-self. Or rather as he called them, my spiritual self and my pyschological self are fighting each other. And each represents the opposite of the other: The former trusts, does not need validation, does not need to please others, does not need to control. My physical & the lab work show autoimmune symptoms which is when the body attacks itself. He went on to say, this fits with my internal conflict & the two selves fighting. You are at a point of committment to one or the other self. Thus I now understand my tooth and gum bothering me since last Tues. Teeth according to Louise Hay's little blue book represents decisions. Until now, I figured it had to do with work path. And given Dr. Michael's comments, definitely at a decision point.
He offered alternatives for approaching this. And advocated chosing the spiritual self, since he felt it would better resolve the physical symptoms. And there are no guarantees. There are resources to make my choices. Struggle on my own. Ask for help all the time. Ask for help when I need it (this honors Spirit). Commit to choosing one self over the other so the conflict and fighting cease. And the balance goes one way. He could help with guided imagery or shamanic work. He figures if I chose the spiritual self, then things will flow. If I chose the psychological self, then my physical symptoms may not resolve.
As I left his office, I told him, he'd provided the information I had asked Source for. And thanked him. He wished me well and gave me a hug.
I knew exactly what I needed to do. I called Ashley to make a appointment to do some work. Time to get help with clearing this conflict and fighting from my system.
And in the meantime, the rest of the day flowed. I could so clearly hear the internal voice as I talked with former colleagues. I had stopped by my former office to give a friend some earrings. And had not intended to go into the office, until my friend invited me. Found myself seeing folks I had not seen since December or longer. And sharing about my morning appt with Dr. Michael. And me. And my Dancing with Source work. One minute it was 10:45 AM, next it was 2:30 PM and I could feel my energy dipping. Time for lunch and a nap. Later when I met up with a friend @ 5:30 PM to go to the DeYoung, I noticed distinctly that my energy level was very good. I felt quite light. And certain aches that had appeared that morning with no apparent cause or reason, were no longer. I hear Dr. Michael's voice: your experience gives you your evidence.
Well, what a day! Started off quite early for me as I dragged myself out of bed and then my home to my 9 AM (yes 9 AM) follow-up appointment with Dr. Michael (Cantwell). The integrative MD who had me test for heavy metal toxicity. Boy was I tired by the time I got there. Have been sleeping an average of 9 hours since I got sick way back when AND have gotten used to being tired when I wake up.
AND it was a 45-minute appt that gave me info I needed. For I'd been asking Source for help and guidance on what's blocking me. And I'd been getting signs this week also. We spent the bulk of the 45 minutes discussing where I was spiritually. And how that factored into where I was physically. I like Dr. Michael. He laser-ed into my core with some deep questions.
Bottom-line: I am fighting my-self. Or rather as he called them, my spiritual self and my pyschological self are fighting each other. And each represents the opposite of the other: The former trusts, does not need validation, does not need to please others, does not need to control. My physical & the lab work show autoimmune symptoms which is when the body attacks itself. He went on to say, this fits with my internal conflict & the two selves fighting. You are at a point of committment to one or the other self. Thus I now understand my tooth and gum bothering me since last Tues. Teeth according to Louise Hay's little blue book represents decisions. Until now, I figured it had to do with work path. And given Dr. Michael's comments, definitely at a decision point.
He offered alternatives for approaching this. And advocated chosing the spiritual self, since he felt it would better resolve the physical symptoms. And there are no guarantees. There are resources to make my choices. Struggle on my own. Ask for help all the time. Ask for help when I need it (this honors Spirit). Commit to choosing one self over the other so the conflict and fighting cease. And the balance goes one way. He could help with guided imagery or shamanic work. He figures if I chose the spiritual self, then things will flow. If I chose the psychological self, then my physical symptoms may not resolve.
As I left his office, I told him, he'd provided the information I had asked Source for. And thanked him. He wished me well and gave me a hug.
I knew exactly what I needed to do. I called Ashley to make a appointment to do some work. Time to get help with clearing this conflict and fighting from my system.
And in the meantime, the rest of the day flowed. I could so clearly hear the internal voice as I talked with former colleagues. I had stopped by my former office to give a friend some earrings. And had not intended to go into the office, until my friend invited me. Found myself seeing folks I had not seen since December or longer. And sharing about my morning appt with Dr. Michael. And me. And my Dancing with Source work. One minute it was 10:45 AM, next it was 2:30 PM and I could feel my energy dipping. Time for lunch and a nap. Later when I met up with a friend @ 5:30 PM to go to the DeYoung, I noticed distinctly that my energy level was very good. I felt quite light. And certain aches that had appeared that morning with no apparent cause or reason, were no longer. I hear Dr. Michael's voice: your experience gives you your evidence.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Re-Balancing
Wednesday, 1 April 2009 1:45 PM PDT
Time will tell on my well-being! For today, I feeling pretty dang good!
Rhuematoid arthritis (inflammation of the joints), adrenal fatigue (adrenal glands help the body deal with stress), estrogen dominance (my glands imbalanced in its production of estrogen & progesterone), mercury & lead toxicity (body not releasing toxic metals).
Bottom line (can see this clearer NOW than I did when I was whirling around in the midst of physical body overwhelm back then), my system (and not just my physical body) was out-of-balance regardless of what caused all my physical symptoms. Re-balancing my system will take time for me to do my inner work, lots of self-love, and grace & miracles from Source/God. AND since I believe each of us are holigrams of the world/the planet. The world/the planet/each of us are also in the midst of re-balancing. I ask Source/God to guide each of us towards what works for each of us to re-balance our lives/our system. To cleanse, clear, and heal what prevents each of us from standing in our power and connected to that which is greater than each of us. And to stay the course regardless the length of time it takes.
Time will tell on my well-being! For today, I feeling pretty dang good!
Rhuematoid arthritis (inflammation of the joints), adrenal fatigue (adrenal glands help the body deal with stress), estrogen dominance (my glands imbalanced in its production of estrogen & progesterone), mercury & lead toxicity (body not releasing toxic metals).
Bottom line (can see this clearer NOW than I did when I was whirling around in the midst of physical body overwhelm back then), my system (and not just my physical body) was out-of-balance regardless of what caused all my physical symptoms. Re-balancing my system will take time for me to do my inner work, lots of self-love, and grace & miracles from Source/God. AND since I believe each of us are holigrams of the world/the planet. The world/the planet/each of us are also in the midst of re-balancing. I ask Source/God to guide each of us towards what works for each of us to re-balance our lives/our system. To cleanse, clear, and heal what prevents each of us from standing in our power and connected to that which is greater than each of us. And to stay the course regardless the length of time it takes.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
healing work on me
Sunday, 29 March 2009 11:00 AM PDT
WOW! What a day yesterday! Kept repeating WOW on the ride home last night.
Left my house @ 8:45 AM to meet my ride to Dancing With Source workshop. Wondering if I should go as I woke up with a dull pain in my tooth & the gum above it. OUCH! They had been below the radar screen since Tuesday night and now were quite loud in wanting my attention. AND what better place to be than at my advanced energetic healing workshop. "Before anything happens physically, it happens energetically." (Dancing with Source materials). Besides this was definitaly NOT an emergency to call my dentist. AND the idea of an anti-inflammatory was last on the list of ideas to address this.
Plus I have come to learn AND trust, whatever is happening to me in that moment fits into whatever process we'll be learning at my monthly Dancing With Source workshop. As our teacher Ashley & I greeted and hugged each other, she asked how I was. And I responded about the pain in my tooth and gum. And she smiled and said she had a number to give me. Then turned to go get the number. I felt my self constrict. I felt heard yet was I? I doubted. Well, the answer was YES. For when we all came together to start our workshop, Ashley said before we start, we will help Nina with her tooth and gum. And before we can fill her with this number for healthy gum and teeth, we must prepare her system to receive it, because it does not. She told the class that she picked this up when she handed me post-it with the number and felt my energy field constrict as if it did not want to receive the number, even though I physically took the post-it & thanked her. Thus the energetic healing of me for that moment began. It was around I believe (can't recall exactly) letting go of the health. WOW! When she asked how I was at the end of the healing work, I felt fabulous. AND my tooth & gum definitely less painful (and loud)!
My receiving continued. And giving. We paired up after lunch to practice. My partner and I had the same topic: what prevents you from standing in your power? what do you need to stand in your power? For me, fear prevented me and trust enables me. We both felt better through & through about standing in our power at the end of our practice.
Then there was two persons receiving healing work from the group. That was awesome as well.
AND I guess I did ask for more practice, just did not mean that night (be mindful AND clear what you ask for LOL). Ashley and three of us went afterwards to eat at Cafe Gratitude. And a friend came over to talk to Ashley. 30 ?? minutes later, she asked if we were up to doing more work. Then I understood the reason for what I had ordered: besides my usual "I am healthy" juice, I ordered a fresh coconut water (hydrates better than water) AND a shot of E3Live (a superfood to boost your energy). Did not make sense at the time I ordered as I was NOT tired and NOT dehydrated. Yet I figured why not? Little did I know I would be working after dinner.
I LOVE this work! And concur with what one of the participants said before our workshop ended: that which each of us heals in ourselves, also heals that in the world. That alone incents me to continue this work. This is my legacy. And to facilitate the healing work that another wants - what a gift! AND this builds on all the tools I continue to integrate into "me": the CTI coaching tools, the CTI leadership tools, the organization & relationship systems coaching (ORSC) tools. Well, well, well......on 08 October 2008, I began to ask Source to open a new road for me today. The road is often right in front of me, if only I would open all of me to "see" it. And to actually choose to take it.
WOW! What a day yesterday! Kept repeating WOW on the ride home last night.
Left my house @ 8:45 AM to meet my ride to Dancing With Source workshop. Wondering if I should go as I woke up with a dull pain in my tooth & the gum above it. OUCH! They had been below the radar screen since Tuesday night and now were quite loud in wanting my attention. AND what better place to be than at my advanced energetic healing workshop. "Before anything happens physically, it happens energetically." (Dancing with Source materials). Besides this was definitaly NOT an emergency to call my dentist. AND the idea of an anti-inflammatory was last on the list of ideas to address this.
Plus I have come to learn AND trust, whatever is happening to me in that moment fits into whatever process we'll be learning at my monthly Dancing With Source workshop. As our teacher Ashley & I greeted and hugged each other, she asked how I was. And I responded about the pain in my tooth and gum. And she smiled and said she had a number to give me. Then turned to go get the number. I felt my self constrict. I felt heard yet was I? I doubted. Well, the answer was YES. For when we all came together to start our workshop, Ashley said before we start, we will help Nina with her tooth and gum. And before we can fill her with this number for healthy gum and teeth, we must prepare her system to receive it, because it does not. She told the class that she picked this up when she handed me post-it with the number and felt my energy field constrict as if it did not want to receive the number, even though I physically took the post-it & thanked her. Thus the energetic healing of me for that moment began. It was around I believe (can't recall exactly) letting go of the health. WOW! When she asked how I was at the end of the healing work, I felt fabulous. AND my tooth & gum definitely less painful (and loud)!
My receiving continued. And giving. We paired up after lunch to practice. My partner and I had the same topic: what prevents you from standing in your power? what do you need to stand in your power? For me, fear prevented me and trust enables me. We both felt better through & through about standing in our power at the end of our practice.
Then there was two persons receiving healing work from the group. That was awesome as well.
AND I guess I did ask for more practice, just did not mean that night (be mindful AND clear what you ask for LOL). Ashley and three of us went afterwards to eat at Cafe Gratitude. And a friend came over to talk to Ashley. 30 ?? minutes later, she asked if we were up to doing more work. Then I understood the reason for what I had ordered: besides my usual "I am healthy" juice, I ordered a fresh coconut water (hydrates better than water) AND a shot of E3Live (a superfood to boost your energy). Did not make sense at the time I ordered as I was NOT tired and NOT dehydrated. Yet I figured why not? Little did I know I would be working after dinner.
I LOVE this work! And concur with what one of the participants said before our workshop ended: that which each of us heals in ourselves, also heals that in the world. That alone incents me to continue this work. This is my legacy. And to facilitate the healing work that another wants - what a gift! AND this builds on all the tools I continue to integrate into "me": the CTI coaching tools, the CTI leadership tools, the organization & relationship systems coaching (ORSC) tools. Well, well, well......on 08 October 2008, I began to ask Source to open a new road for me today. The road is often right in front of me, if only I would open all of me to "see" it. And to actually choose to take it.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Grief
Thursday, 26 March 2009 11:53 PM PDT
Grief - the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern or behavior. (Grief Recovery Book)
Well, I actually "said" the other day to two friends. And then at this week's meeting of a women's support group I joined through CPMC. I am grieving. Grieving the me that is no longer. The familiar that is no longer. Less stamina. Less energy. My physical stuff tries to keep me from grieving. Either way I am hurting or in pain. And I'm not sure how to grieve. Yet I know that this time I must grieve not just for my current losses - for any past loss I dismissed, glossed over, ignored. And by doing so, failed to grieve & honor BEFORE moving on.
And a pattern here. Endings and transition - want to get past them as quick as possible so I can get to the next beginning. Yet as I sit and type this, I feel the hurt, pain, sadness, disappointment if a friend were to dismiss, gloss over, or ignore me. So what makes me think that Loss does not feel likewise, when I dismiss, gloss over, or ignore Loss. AHA - time to have a conversation with the me that is no longer so that whatever feelings are expressed, completed.
Grief - the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern or behavior. (Grief Recovery Book)
Well, I actually "said" the other day to two friends. And then at this week's meeting of a women's support group I joined through CPMC. I am grieving. Grieving the me that is no longer. The familiar that is no longer. Less stamina. Less energy. My physical stuff tries to keep me from grieving. Either way I am hurting or in pain. And I'm not sure how to grieve. Yet I know that this time I must grieve not just for my current losses - for any past loss I dismissed, glossed over, ignored. And by doing so, failed to grieve & honor BEFORE moving on.
And a pattern here. Endings and transition - want to get past them as quick as possible so I can get to the next beginning. Yet as I sit and type this, I feel the hurt, pain, sadness, disappointment if a friend were to dismiss, gloss over, or ignore me. So what makes me think that Loss does not feel likewise, when I dismiss, gloss over, or ignore Loss. AHA - time to have a conversation with the me that is no longer so that whatever feelings are expressed, completed.
Connection......Diet
Thursday 26 March 2009 10:30 AM PDT
Each morning as I sit & eat my breakfast salad or do my morning pages, I pull from two card decks, the bottom card. Today's cards I wanted the thoughts to ripple out into the world. So here goes my intention......
Connection. Connect with someone special. A loved one is a gift to treasure. Cheryl Richardson's Self-Care cards
Illness begins in the stomach, and diet is the main remedy. (7) Be mindful today of how you nourish your body with healthful food. Feed your spirit with self-respect and self-love, allowing only healthy thoughts and feelings to enter your being. Carolyn Myss' Healing cards.
These two cards are interwined today for me (after re-reading my morning pages) - for my someone special is me, my self, and I. And healthy thoughts, feelings, food, conversations, activities, etc, etc sounds YUMMY!
Each morning as I sit & eat my breakfast salad or do my morning pages, I pull from two card decks, the bottom card. Today's cards I wanted the thoughts to ripple out into the world. So here goes my intention......
Connection. Connect with someone special. A loved one is a gift to treasure. Cheryl Richardson's Self-Care cards
Illness begins in the stomach, and diet is the main remedy. (7) Be mindful today of how you nourish your body with healthful food. Feed your spirit with self-respect and self-love, allowing only healthy thoughts and feelings to enter your being. Carolyn Myss' Healing cards.
These two cards are interwined today for me (after re-reading my morning pages) - for my someone special is me, my self, and I. And healthy thoughts, feelings, food, conversations, activities, etc, etc sounds YUMMY!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Fantasy & Humor; Cleanse & Clear
Sunday, 22 March 2009 12:15 PM PDT
Before I went to sleep last night, I kept rubbing my fingers: the trigger finger in my left index finger hurt. The trigger finger in my right middle finger hurt. Both thumbs hurt. Arthritis speaking loudly.
Trigger finger is a swelling within a tendon sheath. Plus my fingers definitely felt inflamed.
And rather than focus on my physical, I went to Louise Hay's Heal Your Body little blue book and looked up:
thumb--intellect & worry
index finger--ego & fear
middle finger--anger & sexuality
inflammation--fear, inflamed thinking
swelling--being stuck in thinking
And before I went to sleep, I asked that throughout the night while I am deeply and completely sleeping that Everyone do whatever processes were necessary to heal my congruence with fear, worry, anger. And replace it with unconditional love, compassion, gratitude.
Well, 10+ hours of sleep later, I awoke this morning to a sense of stillness, tiredness. AND then the flood of thoughts, to-dos, etc, etc, flooded me. Was so overwhelmed I had to do 'morning pages'. GREAT way to download all that stuff from my mind. So I could then enjoy my breakfast salad. And stare @ the clouds outside my kitchen window. JUST breathe in the peaceful! Inhale! Exhale!
And then I took my cards from the bottom of each deck, to set the tone for my day.
Achievement. Chase your dreams. You may be surprised by where they lead you. Cheryl Richardson's Self-Care card deck
To heal the body, first heal the mind. (20) Today is for observation. Where does your mind wander naturally -- into fear or fantasy, humor or stress? Follow your mind, and observe wher it goes to feed itself. Do you like what you see? Carolyn Myss's Healing card deck
All that I had been writing this morning, fed into these two cards. And what my friend Gloria has asked in an e-mail yesterday - are you still cleansing & clearing?
And I noticed that my fingers did not hurt as much as they did when I went to bed the night before. And my two trigger fingers were not sticking, clicking, hurting. Usually the mornings are the worst for all this.
My morning pages this morning showed that my mental body wanders towards fear & stress. And my fingers showed that somewhere in my system is worry, anger, fear. So for today, I will feed my system, and not just my mental body, with fantasy & humor.
Was great to then talk to Gloria on the phone - her energy is definitely fantasy & humor. Good to get that infusion. And to laugh, laugh, laugh! Appreciate it my dear!
FANTASY & HUMOR
CLEANSE & CLEAR
LOL LOL LOL
Before I went to sleep last night, I kept rubbing my fingers: the trigger finger in my left index finger hurt. The trigger finger in my right middle finger hurt. Both thumbs hurt. Arthritis speaking loudly.
Trigger finger is a swelling within a tendon sheath. Plus my fingers definitely felt inflamed.
And rather than focus on my physical, I went to Louise Hay's Heal Your Body little blue book and looked up:
thumb--intellect & worry
index finger--ego & fear
middle finger--anger & sexuality
inflammation--fear, inflamed thinking
swelling--being stuck in thinking
And before I went to sleep, I asked that throughout the night while I am deeply and completely sleeping that Everyone do whatever processes were necessary to heal my congruence with fear, worry, anger. And replace it with unconditional love, compassion, gratitude.
Well, 10+ hours of sleep later, I awoke this morning to a sense of stillness, tiredness. AND then the flood of thoughts, to-dos, etc, etc, flooded me. Was so overwhelmed I had to do 'morning pages'. GREAT way to download all that stuff from my mind. So I could then enjoy my breakfast salad. And stare @ the clouds outside my kitchen window. JUST breathe in the peaceful! Inhale! Exhale!
And then I took my cards from the bottom of each deck, to set the tone for my day.
Achievement. Chase your dreams. You may be surprised by where they lead you. Cheryl Richardson's Self-Care card deck
To heal the body, first heal the mind. (20) Today is for observation. Where does your mind wander naturally -- into fear or fantasy, humor or stress? Follow your mind, and observe wher it goes to feed itself. Do you like what you see? Carolyn Myss's Healing card deck
All that I had been writing this morning, fed into these two cards. And what my friend Gloria has asked in an e-mail yesterday - are you still cleansing & clearing?
And I noticed that my fingers did not hurt as much as they did when I went to bed the night before. And my two trigger fingers were not sticking, clicking, hurting. Usually the mornings are the worst for all this.
My morning pages this morning showed that my mental body wanders towards fear & stress. And my fingers showed that somewhere in my system is worry, anger, fear. So for today, I will feed my system, and not just my mental body, with fantasy & humor.
Was great to then talk to Gloria on the phone - her energy is definitely fantasy & humor. Good to get that infusion. And to laugh, laugh, laugh! Appreciate it my dear!
FANTASY & HUMOR
CLEANSE & CLEAR
LOL LOL LOL
Thursday, March 19, 2009
reflections on my self-care re-treat
Thursday 19 March 2009 10:17 PM PDT
1 to 17 March -- self-care re-treat here @ home. Looking backwards - needed the time to re-balance myself. Too much focus on my physical body for the past three months. Not enough on my emotional & spiritual bodies. And my mental body enjoying all the research to help the physical body.
Re-balancing to help re-store my system from the 19-week chelation that ended in January. The 21-day Standard Process purification program I did with my practioner in Feb. AND all that those two processes released, not just from my physical, also my emotional & mental bodies. Oh my, A LOT released. And release keeps coming in dribs and drabs now. ALL good! AND my system definitely needs time to heal. And for that it needs energy. Rest and sleep. And I do love my sleep : - ) This past 5 or 6 months is a test to see what I have learned (or NOT) from the past 24 months LOL LOL LOL about listening to each and every body of mine (collectively, my system).
My mental body is often so strong (no surprise there).
My emotional body is often silent or quiet (no surprise there).
My physical body likes to fight with the other two (no surprise there)
Talk about internal stress - no wonder my system is tired LOL LOL
And getting them all congruent around one subject, especially if it's for the highest good - well that's where I ask Source (and anyone else who wants to help) -- help me get my system congruent!
AND today, they all agreed -- I'm grieving! The losses....of the me before all the physical stuff started happening. The me I thought I knew. The methods or processes that don't work today that used to work before. Friends I would see all the time and now see or talk to every so often. Any familiar and comfortable stuff that is no longer. AND I sense losses unbeknowing to my conscious that were not grieved when they happened in the past. As a friend said last night, now that my physical stuff is not so overwhelming--taking front and center, the emotional stuff can now be heard.
And today's Cheryl Richardson Self-Care card was so appropriate in general for me....
Decisions. Honor your top priorities. If it's not an absolute yes, then it's a no.
Much appreciation Everyone!
1 to 17 March -- self-care re-treat here @ home. Looking backwards - needed the time to re-balance myself. Too much focus on my physical body for the past three months. Not enough on my emotional & spiritual bodies. And my mental body enjoying all the research to help the physical body.
Re-balancing to help re-store my system from the 19-week chelation that ended in January. The 21-day Standard Process purification program I did with my practioner in Feb. AND all that those two processes released, not just from my physical, also my emotional & mental bodies. Oh my, A LOT released. And release keeps coming in dribs and drabs now. ALL good! AND my system definitely needs time to heal. And for that it needs energy. Rest and sleep. And I do love my sleep : - ) This past 5 or 6 months is a test to see what I have learned (or NOT) from the past 24 months LOL LOL LOL about listening to each and every body of mine (collectively, my system).
My mental body is often so strong (no surprise there).
My emotional body is often silent or quiet (no surprise there).
My physical body likes to fight with the other two (no surprise there)
Talk about internal stress - no wonder my system is tired LOL LOL
And getting them all congruent around one subject, especially if it's for the highest good - well that's where I ask Source (and anyone else who wants to help) -- help me get my system congruent!
AND today, they all agreed -- I'm grieving! The losses....of the me before all the physical stuff started happening. The me I thought I knew. The methods or processes that don't work today that used to work before. Friends I would see all the time and now see or talk to every so often. Any familiar and comfortable stuff that is no longer. AND I sense losses unbeknowing to my conscious that were not grieved when they happened in the past. As a friend said last night, now that my physical stuff is not so overwhelming--taking front and center, the emotional stuff can now be heard.
And today's Cheryl Richardson Self-Care card was so appropriate in general for me....
Decisions. Honor your top priorities. If it's not an absolute yes, then it's a no.
Much appreciation Everyone!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Leap of Faith
9 March 2009 11 am PDT
Well, I am certainly getting opportunities to stand up for my-self. Like the MD (who first ordered the heavy metals test and recommended chelation). When I called for an appt, the earliest appt was two months away. So I made the appt and decided to mail him my questions & leave him a voicemail asking if he could get back to me before the appt. No response. A week later, I left another voicemail. No response. By this time, I'm fuming inside (and not even considering the impact on my health or my adrenals). So I call his office to find out if he's in. He has been in for the past two weeks, yet behind in responding to patient voicemails. Now I'm really fuming, so I leave him a voicemail that starts out calm. And somewhere in there I say not acknowledging my voicemail and written questions (either himself or his office), is both rude and un-professional. After I ended the call, boy did I feel good and bad at the same time. Healthy ego felt good. Self-sacrifice felt bad. Hmmmm? Good to know this going forward.
Releasing dark emotions is a challenge for me. Seems the detoxing is releasing more than just the toxic metals. And that for me, is a VERY GOOD thing.
Meanwhile, the MD finally called me back. AND his office. To apologize. And schedule an appt (which I had last Friday). And all that was refreshing. WOW my MD is human. Plus he discounted my visit fee due to his not returning my call promptly. And the 45-minute consultation was full of info & discussion. For now, I think I've found the MD who can be my sounding board for the research I do. And what various practioners tell me.
If anything I've learned in the past 2 years, there's pro and con for this protocol and that protocol. And in the end, it's a leap of faith. Which brings me full circle to my spiritual and emotional exercises! All of this -- a test of my faith and trust! In me! In Source! In my connection to everything! Sometimes experience is the only way I learn something! LOL! LOL!
As for the physical stuff going on with me. Well, my body definitely needs a break from the chelation. So am starting a protocol to re-balance my vitamin/mineral im-balances. There is research done that vitamin/mineral imbalances can cause the body to store toxic metals. Re-balancing the mineral levels and corresponding ratios of certain minerals (along with other lifestyle areas like nutrition, exercise, sleep, rest, stress management) can cause the body to release toxic metals that it does not need due to the mineral imbalances. Will try this for 2-3 months and then re-test. Appears to be gentler way of getting the toxic metals out of my system. The MD is onboard with me takinga break from the DMSA chelation given the reaction towards the end of it. Plus he wants to talk during our next consult about my spiritual practices. He believes that miracles do happen. And some of his patients have healed themselves solely through their spiritual.
OK Source, I can take a hint! My daily spiritual balancing and healing are very important! Onward ho!
Well, I am certainly getting opportunities to stand up for my-self. Like the MD (who first ordered the heavy metals test and recommended chelation). When I called for an appt, the earliest appt was two months away. So I made the appt and decided to mail him my questions & leave him a voicemail asking if he could get back to me before the appt. No response. A week later, I left another voicemail. No response. By this time, I'm fuming inside (and not even considering the impact on my health or my adrenals). So I call his office to find out if he's in. He has been in for the past two weeks, yet behind in responding to patient voicemails. Now I'm really fuming, so I leave him a voicemail that starts out calm. And somewhere in there I say not acknowledging my voicemail and written questions (either himself or his office), is both rude and un-professional. After I ended the call, boy did I feel good and bad at the same time. Healthy ego felt good. Self-sacrifice felt bad. Hmmmm? Good to know this going forward.
Releasing dark emotions is a challenge for me. Seems the detoxing is releasing more than just the toxic metals. And that for me, is a VERY GOOD thing.
Meanwhile, the MD finally called me back. AND his office. To apologize. And schedule an appt (which I had last Friday). And all that was refreshing. WOW my MD is human. Plus he discounted my visit fee due to his not returning my call promptly. And the 45-minute consultation was full of info & discussion. For now, I think I've found the MD who can be my sounding board for the research I do. And what various practioners tell me.
If anything I've learned in the past 2 years, there's pro and con for this protocol and that protocol. And in the end, it's a leap of faith. Which brings me full circle to my spiritual and emotional exercises! All of this -- a test of my faith and trust! In me! In Source! In my connection to everything! Sometimes experience is the only way I learn something! LOL! LOL!
As for the physical stuff going on with me. Well, my body definitely needs a break from the chelation. So am starting a protocol to re-balance my vitamin/mineral im-balances. There is research done that vitamin/mineral imbalances can cause the body to store toxic metals. Re-balancing the mineral levels and corresponding ratios of certain minerals (along with other lifestyle areas like nutrition, exercise, sleep, rest, stress management) can cause the body to release toxic metals that it does not need due to the mineral imbalances. Will try this for 2-3 months and then re-test. Appears to be gentler way of getting the toxic metals out of my system. The MD is onboard with me takinga break from the DMSA chelation given the reaction towards the end of it. Plus he wants to talk during our next consult about my spiritual practices. He believes that miracles do happen. And some of his patients have healed themselves solely through their spiritual.
OK Source, I can take a hint! My daily spiritual balancing and healing are very important! Onward ho!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
2 weeks of self-care
Thursday, 5 March 2009 11:19 AM PST
Well, it's good to feel and know that getting back into my spiritual and emotional exercises is not like starting all over again. Boy oh boy the disempowering or distracting talk I give myself LOL! LOL!
Am very glad I gave myself these two weeks of self-care. And I now understand - of re-balancing my three-legged stool of physical, spiritual, emotional. To re-connect with my intention of being a well-being. To notice when I go towards things that nurture that intention. And when I get distracted.
For example, on Monday, I did a walking meditation for the first time in a long while. And after the 15-minute tape was complete, I felt, really felt the difference in all of me from when I started (scattered, hurried, wanting to get to my errands) and when I ended (calm, peaceful, knowing that none of the errands needed to be done today). And it helped me the rest of the day when I was tempted to quickly try and do a lot of things. Or walk fast to get somewhere. All when I felt tired. I say tempted because instead I chose to rest/nap. Self-care smiling at me!
Then there is a daily exercise I had not done since the holidays -- my spiritual balancing (chakras, subtle energy bodies, planetary energies, full spectrum color, other areas). Instead of letting myself get distracted into doing other things, I set aside time to go through this practice. Yesterday and today, noticing how hurried I felt, wanting to get this done so I could move on to other things). AND instead of giving into that impatience AND giving up the balancing, I continued on until I completed the balancing. Realized at the end that I was NOT as un-balanced as I thought and believed (operative words thought & believed) I was.
Even being off e-mail for three days was nourishing! YUMMY!
Thank you physical de-pression for reminding me to nourish my emotional and spiritual!
AND not to forget how am I physically - tiredness has returned. And like de-pression. tiredness wants me to slow down and take good self-care. For I will want all three as I move deeper into me and heal whatever I find.
Well, it's good to feel and know that getting back into my spiritual and emotional exercises is not like starting all over again. Boy oh boy the disempowering or distracting talk I give myself LOL! LOL!
Am very glad I gave myself these two weeks of self-care. And I now understand - of re-balancing my three-legged stool of physical, spiritual, emotional. To re-connect with my intention of being a well-being. To notice when I go towards things that nurture that intention. And when I get distracted.
For example, on Monday, I did a walking meditation for the first time in a long while. And after the 15-minute tape was complete, I felt, really felt the difference in all of me from when I started (scattered, hurried, wanting to get to my errands) and when I ended (calm, peaceful, knowing that none of the errands needed to be done today). And it helped me the rest of the day when I was tempted to quickly try and do a lot of things. Or walk fast to get somewhere. All when I felt tired. I say tempted because instead I chose to rest/nap. Self-care smiling at me!
Then there is a daily exercise I had not done since the holidays -- my spiritual balancing (chakras, subtle energy bodies, planetary energies, full spectrum color, other areas). Instead of letting myself get distracted into doing other things, I set aside time to go through this practice. Yesterday and today, noticing how hurried I felt, wanting to get this done so I could move on to other things). AND instead of giving into that impatience AND giving up the balancing, I continued on until I completed the balancing. Realized at the end that I was NOT as un-balanced as I thought and believed (operative words thought & believed) I was.
Even being off e-mail for three days was nourishing! YUMMY!
Thank you physical de-pression for reminding me to nourish my emotional and spiritual!
AND not to forget how am I physically - tiredness has returned. And like de-pression. tiredness wants me to slow down and take good self-care. For I will want all three as I move deeper into me and heal whatever I find.
Monday, March 2, 2009
time to reality-check
Monday, 2 March 2009 10:45 AM PDT
GREAT healing work. Slept 9 hours. And dreamt of looking for a new house with a realtor. Metaphorically, house = self. And this is where I find myself today -- letting go of the old self and the way things used to be, looking for the new self and the way things are becoming. In transition.
And seems a good place to reality-check. From the heart. Not the mind. And to remember self-care in honoring Saturday's work!
So I took out this that I had copied from Kathy Freston’s Quantum Wellness book, her Eight Pillars of Wellness. And I added mine Sleep/Rest at the very top just because I LOVE my sleep! Ask my heart - what am avoiding in my training for Life and Well-being! Today! Not to go back and feel guilty about the past! Yet to just focus on today. And what I notice today!
I put Sleep/Rest @ the top of my list - definitely NOT been avoiding this one! Thank You Source for giving me good sleep every night!
Meditation -- yes, avoiding
Visualization -- yes, avoiding
Fun activities (and laughter) -- no and these are distracting me from time with the other activities
Conscious eating -- yes eatting and yet not consciously. more hurried @ times so I can get to the next activity. instead of savoring, enjoying, loving every minute of eatting and what I'm eatting.
Exercise -- ok here, the daily walks. the weekly tai chi and feldenkrais class. this is sufficient to keep my whole body in movement. and eventually my full range of movement will return.
Spiritual practice -- huge avoid here. for about three months. and noticing how easily I let other activities take its place. Old. And new. No wonder the body has been de-pressing me the past month or so. And signaling me in other ways.
Self-work -- yes and now it's time to dig deeper in the emotional baggage. Explore a room or two in this house called Me that have not been opened in a while.
Sometimes I have to go through the baggage. be in the baggage. talk to the baggage. listen to the baggage. in order to come out of the baggage with a different view. Does NOT mean I love the process. Am willing to show up and see what happens.
Time for a little walking meditation to honor today! Self-care! And see what happens from there!
GREAT healing work. Slept 9 hours. And dreamt of looking for a new house with a realtor. Metaphorically, house = self. And this is where I find myself today -- letting go of the old self and the way things used to be, looking for the new self and the way things are becoming. In transition.
And seems a good place to reality-check. From the heart. Not the mind. And to remember self-care in honoring Saturday's work!
So I took out this that I had copied from Kathy Freston’s Quantum Wellness book, her Eight Pillars of Wellness. And I added mine Sleep/Rest at the very top just because I LOVE my sleep! Ask my heart - what am avoiding in my training for Life and Well-being! Today! Not to go back and feel guilty about the past! Yet to just focus on today. And what I notice today!
I put Sleep/Rest @ the top of my list - definitely NOT been avoiding this one! Thank You Source for giving me good sleep every night!
Meditation -- yes, avoiding
Visualization -- yes, avoiding
Fun activities (and laughter) -- no and these are distracting me from time with the other activities
Conscious eating -- yes eatting and yet not consciously. more hurried @ times so I can get to the next activity. instead of savoring, enjoying, loving every minute of eatting and what I'm eatting.
Exercise -- ok here, the daily walks. the weekly tai chi and feldenkrais class. this is sufficient to keep my whole body in movement. and eventually my full range of movement will return.
Spiritual practice -- huge avoid here. for about three months. and noticing how easily I let other activities take its place. Old. And new. No wonder the body has been de-pressing me the past month or so. And signaling me in other ways.
Self-work -- yes and now it's time to dig deeper in the emotional baggage. Explore a room or two in this house called Me that have not been opened in a while.
Sometimes I have to go through the baggage. be in the baggage. talk to the baggage. listen to the baggage. in order to come out of the baggage with a different view. Does NOT mean I love the process. Am willing to show up and see what happens.
Time for a little walking meditation to honor today! Self-care! And see what happens from there!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
GREAT energetic healing yesterday!
Sunday, 1 March 2009 9:16 pm PDT
GREAT energetic healing yesterday! I slept almost 12 hours last night! And even took a nap in the afternoon! Even now, I am tired so will soon go to sleep. Practicing good self-care for the next 3-4 days. Our facilitator said to give ourselves 2 days to integrate the healing. Have learned I need twice as much time to re-coup my energy.
Yet wanted to note this. When I woke up, one of the thoughts I had was remembering something I had read a number of years ago by Christine Northrup, MD. About how women get physical signals when they cycle each month so all their life they have opportunities to address the underlying issues that are creating the physical signals. And that when they reach menopause, if they have not addressed these issues, then the body is yelling.
Had to go find the passage......
p.39 The Wisdom of Menopause.
"PMS With its physical and emotional discomfort, PMS is one way a woman's body elbows her every month to remind her of the growing backlog of unresolved issues accumulating within her. Everything from un-balanced nutrition to un-resolved relations can disrupt the normal hormonal milieu, wreaking physical and emotional havoc during the childbearing years. Igoring these early, relatively gentle nudges month after month sets her up for sharper and more urgent messages. Inconvenient as they are, these pains are our allies, begging us to look up and see what's not working in our lives. And the body is persistent.
Periomenopause. PMS times ten. Safe bet that any uncomfortable symptoms that reveal themselves during times of hormonal shift will be magnified and prolonged if a woman is carrying a heavy load of emotional baggage."
I recall when I read that many years ago, I wondered what menopause would be like for me. Given my PMS symptoms were generally quite tired on the first day or two of my period. And at times craving for spicy foods.
Today when I read this, I could see where as much as I had relieved myself of a lot of emotional baggage along the way, there was stuff I was carrying that I either did not know about or denied. No wonder the physical was so fatigued in 2007 when I crossed into menopause that year. Physical body said "Time to stop & un-load the baggage!" While I feel much lighter today, the physical body is still struggling--signaling that un-resolved, un-healed issues await my attention! And not tonight.
Time for sleep & rejuevenating the mind, body, spirit!
GREAT energetic healing yesterday! I slept almost 12 hours last night! And even took a nap in the afternoon! Even now, I am tired so will soon go to sleep. Practicing good self-care for the next 3-4 days. Our facilitator said to give ourselves 2 days to integrate the healing. Have learned I need twice as much time to re-coup my energy.
Yet wanted to note this. When I woke up, one of the thoughts I had was remembering something I had read a number of years ago by Christine Northrup, MD. About how women get physical signals when they cycle each month so all their life they have opportunities to address the underlying issues that are creating the physical signals. And that when they reach menopause, if they have not addressed these issues, then the body is yelling.
Had to go find the passage......
p.39 The Wisdom of Menopause.
"PMS With its physical and emotional discomfort, PMS is one way a woman's body elbows her every month to remind her of the growing backlog of unresolved issues accumulating within her. Everything from un-balanced nutrition to un-resolved relations can disrupt the normal hormonal milieu, wreaking physical and emotional havoc during the childbearing years. Igoring these early, relatively gentle nudges month after month sets her up for sharper and more urgent messages. Inconvenient as they are, these pains are our allies, begging us to look up and see what's not working in our lives. And the body is persistent.
Periomenopause. PMS times ten. Safe bet that any uncomfortable symptoms that reveal themselves during times of hormonal shift will be magnified and prolonged if a woman is carrying a heavy load of emotional baggage."
I recall when I read that many years ago, I wondered what menopause would be like for me. Given my PMS symptoms were generally quite tired on the first day or two of my period. And at times craving for spicy foods.
Today when I read this, I could see where as much as I had relieved myself of a lot of emotional baggage along the way, there was stuff I was carrying that I either did not know about or denied. No wonder the physical was so fatigued in 2007 when I crossed into menopause that year. Physical body said "Time to stop & un-load the baggage!" While I feel much lighter today, the physical body is still struggling--signaling that un-resolved, un-healed issues await my attention! And not tonight.
Time for sleep & rejuevenating the mind, body, spirit!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Dancing with Source energetic healing workshop
Saturday, 28 Febuary 2009 8:45 PM PDT
Sometimes hearing your voice say something out loud to someone else unlocks the answer you know deep inside.
Or write.
Perhaps that's another reason for these posts, to unlock the answer I know deep within.
Today was my Dancing with Source energetic healing workshop. Feel truly blessed & appreciative of today's work. From it, came the response to my asking for guidance. And I believed I had just asked in the past 7 or so days. WRONG. I looked through my journaling and the thread runs through my journaling since 17 January 2009. Wanting to know what am I protecting? What am I avoiding? Not on a physical plane - on an emotional, spiritual plane. For healing the physical has taken front & center for the past months now (as the posts point to).
Healing my congruency with Self-Sacrifice. And the various ways it shows up for me. WEO, that's huge for me! Now I've written it down so I don't conveniently 'forget' it.
Interesting - before I went to the DWS workshop today, I had cleared my calendar for the next two weeks to rest the body (and do energetic healing work @ other levels for myself). Funny, how things fall into place when there is flow!
And after 6 weeks, realized that a lot of my old ways of avoiding or distracting myself from facing stuff don't work. And I'm creative so I created new ways. What I won't do to avoid! LOL! Practicing discernment. AND I will do the work - in my own time, yet I will do the work.
And I appreciate all that the chelation and purification program stirred up (hindsight). For I am in a good place to dance, dance, dance with Self-Sacrifice. For as long as it takes for it (and its many forms) to tell me what it needs to tell me. And vice versa. As Gloria calls them "messages of love". And then we can thank each other for the dance. I can move to the next dance. And they can move to the Light!
Time for sleep! LOTS of sleep!
Sometimes hearing your voice say something out loud to someone else unlocks the answer you know deep inside.
Or write.
Perhaps that's another reason for these posts, to unlock the answer I know deep within.
Today was my Dancing with Source energetic healing workshop. Feel truly blessed & appreciative of today's work. From it, came the response to my asking for guidance. And I believed I had just asked in the past 7 or so days. WRONG. I looked through my journaling and the thread runs through my journaling since 17 January 2009. Wanting to know what am I protecting? What am I avoiding? Not on a physical plane - on an emotional, spiritual plane. For healing the physical has taken front & center for the past months now (as the posts point to).
Healing my congruency with Self-Sacrifice. And the various ways it shows up for me. WEO, that's huge for me! Now I've written it down so I don't conveniently 'forget' it.
Interesting - before I went to the DWS workshop today, I had cleared my calendar for the next two weeks to rest the body (and do energetic healing work @ other levels for myself). Funny, how things fall into place when there is flow!
And after 6 weeks, realized that a lot of my old ways of avoiding or distracting myself from facing stuff don't work. And I'm creative so I created new ways. What I won't do to avoid! LOL! Practicing discernment. AND I will do the work - in my own time, yet I will do the work.
And I appreciate all that the chelation and purification program stirred up (hindsight). For I am in a good place to dance, dance, dance with Self-Sacrifice. For as long as it takes for it (and its many forms) to tell me what it needs to tell me. And vice versa. As Gloria calls them "messages of love". And then we can thank each other for the dance. I can move to the next dance. And they can move to the Light!
Time for sleep! LOTS of sleep!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
AHA
Thursday, 26 Febuary 2009 11:17 AM PST
A huge AHA. And pieces of the puzzle falling together.
Hindsight, catalysts were probably bits and pieces of conversations or things I saw, read, heard in the past week. And FINALLY listening to what my friend Gloria calls "messages of love" from malaise, depression, apathy, lethargy. Especially de-pression.
Did a lot of journaling over the weekend. Been a long time so writing felt good. On Monday talked with my nutrition response testing (NRT) practioner. And then Tuesday the AHA got punctuated when talking to my naturathic doctor. And again when I got together with a friend Tuesday night. And as I talked with my therapist yesterday (started back visiting with her yesterday), hearing myself say the following - hit home to the core.
Basically, here I am thinking (operative word thinking) that I have NOT been doing much of anything since I got back from visiting Nancy, Lester, Sara, Doug back in NC. In my true Nina style, I ended heavy metal chelation for removing the mercury and lead on 19 January (thus detoxing heavy metals for 19 weeks). Then I decide 9 days later, after my NRT practioner suggests it, to do the Standard Process purification program for 21 days (general detoxing and support of the body's organs) along with some of the other patients.
No wonder I feel the way I feel - physically, emotionally, etc, etc. Completely forgot and denied that when the body is eliminating toxic stuff, it is not only stirring stuff up @ all levels, it also tries to heal. And when it's healing, the symptoms often get worse first, then better. And the body needs a lot of energy to heal, detox. And all through this, I kept putting activities on my calendar NOT slowing down.
Boy oh boy, my body de-pressed. I was pressing forward to get back to my "normal life" or whatever. Pressing through all the effects of the chelation & purification program. Trying to speed up the natural healing process. Pressing through that. So the body de-pressed each time I pressed. In order to get me to slow down and take time (and as importantly my energy) to heal from the chelation and detox.
Thank God for each conversation I had over the past several weeks (much appreciation to Eduard, Donna, Alice, Cheryl, Ann, Edgardo). And for me FINALLY. FINALLY taking the time to listen to what the de-pression was trying to tell me (instead of telling her to go away or get out of my way).
Keeping my calendar down to the bare minimum for the next two weeks. So I can allow my body to rest and heal. AND LISTEN!
A huge AHA. And pieces of the puzzle falling together.
Hindsight, catalysts were probably bits and pieces of conversations or things I saw, read, heard in the past week. And FINALLY listening to what my friend Gloria calls "messages of love" from malaise, depression, apathy, lethargy. Especially de-pression.
Did a lot of journaling over the weekend. Been a long time so writing felt good. On Monday talked with my nutrition response testing (NRT) practioner. And then Tuesday the AHA got punctuated when talking to my naturathic doctor. And again when I got together with a friend Tuesday night. And as I talked with my therapist yesterday (started back visiting with her yesterday), hearing myself say the following - hit home to the core.
Basically, here I am thinking (operative word thinking) that I have NOT been doing much of anything since I got back from visiting Nancy, Lester, Sara, Doug back in NC. In my true Nina style, I ended heavy metal chelation for removing the mercury and lead on 19 January (thus detoxing heavy metals for 19 weeks). Then I decide 9 days later, after my NRT practioner suggests it, to do the Standard Process purification program for 21 days (general detoxing and support of the body's organs) along with some of the other patients.
No wonder I feel the way I feel - physically, emotionally, etc, etc. Completely forgot and denied that when the body is eliminating toxic stuff, it is not only stirring stuff up @ all levels, it also tries to heal. And when it's healing, the symptoms often get worse first, then better. And the body needs a lot of energy to heal, detox. And all through this, I kept putting activities on my calendar NOT slowing down.
Boy oh boy, my body de-pressed. I was pressing forward to get back to my "normal life" or whatever. Pressing through all the effects of the chelation & purification program. Trying to speed up the natural healing process. Pressing through that. So the body de-pressed each time I pressed. In order to get me to slow down and take time (and as importantly my energy) to heal from the chelation and detox.
Thank God for each conversation I had over the past several weeks (much appreciation to Eduard, Donna, Alice, Cheryl, Ann, Edgardo). And for me FINALLY. FINALLY taking the time to listen to what the de-pression was trying to tell me (instead of telling her to go away or get out of my way).
Keeping my calendar down to the bare minimum for the next two weeks. So I can allow my body to rest and heal. AND LISTEN!
Nutrition Response Testing Practioner
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2009 11:36 AM, PST
Saw my Nutrition Response Testing practioner yesterday. She's GREAT. She listens, is supportive, gives tough-love. And it was good to see her. As we talked, I realized that I have come a long way in a year. I began working with her on 19 Febuary last year.
AND current heavy metals test results show mercury and lead are getting out of my body. And there continues to be lead and other metals left there.
Lead and other metals left there - guessing that's the reason I feel the way I feel these days. Not well! Up and down! Thank goodness there is an explanation. And possible protocols. And I'm not crazy!
Waiting to hear back from the integrative MD - figure this week or next. And the practioner with hair mineral analysis results - next week.
Best to focus on all that is well in my life!
Acknowledge that which is not well.
Love them ALL!
Saw my Nutrition Response Testing practioner yesterday. She's GREAT. She listens, is supportive, gives tough-love. And it was good to see her. As we talked, I realized that I have come a long way in a year. I began working with her on 19 Febuary last year.
AND current heavy metals test results show mercury and lead are getting out of my body. And there continues to be lead and other metals left there.
Lead and other metals left there - guessing that's the reason I feel the way I feel these days. Not well! Up and down! Thank goodness there is an explanation. And possible protocols. And I'm not crazy!
Waiting to hear back from the integrative MD - figure this week or next. And the practioner with hair mineral analysis results - next week.
Best to focus on all that is well in my life!
Acknowledge that which is not well.
Love them ALL!
this is dedicated to sara and chase william
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2009 12:08 PM, CST
Today I am dedicating all my well-being activities to my niece Sara and the little boy that is due to be born on 8 May!
Realize today that I wanted so bad for the lead and mercury toxicity to be "fixed' after one 16-week course of chelation therapy. That when this did not happen, the disappointment & frustration got the better of me.
And the disappointment, frustration, malaise, depression taught me and showed me that I am human. I am strong. I have come a long way in healing. I will continue to seek the protocals that support what my system needs to heal herself. The "size that fits me" not the "one size fits all".
Today I am dedicating all my well-being activities to my niece Sara and the little boy that is due to be born on 8 May!
Realize today that I wanted so bad for the lead and mercury toxicity to be "fixed' after one 16-week course of chelation therapy. That when this did not happen, the disappointment & frustration got the better of me.
And the disappointment, frustration, malaise, depression taught me and showed me that I am human. I am strong. I have come a long way in healing. I will continue to seek the protocals that support what my system needs to heal herself. The "size that fits me" not the "one size fits all".
to my lunch buddies
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2009 10:18 AM, PST
Today I dedicate all my well-being activites to my lunch buddies: June, Amie, Glenn, Carol, JD!
Dedicating what I do to someone else helps the "not feeling well" more palatable! And yeah for today - the off and on malaise/depression/yuk seems to have gone! Leaving my happy, grateful spirit intact. And this darn tiredness even after 9 (YES NINE) hours of sleep! And Thank You God for this day!
Thank you for my housekeeper who's is here today! She is a God-send!
Thank you for my practioners who will help me determine the options for chelating the lead. And help keep me on my healing path!
Thank you for the massage appointment @ noon which will force me to get out & about for my daily walk! Because I feel more like curling up & watching a movie!
Send Love and Hugs!
Nina
Today I dedicate all my well-being activites to my lunch buddies: June, Amie, Glenn, Carol, JD!
Dedicating what I do to someone else helps the "not feeling well" more palatable! And yeah for today - the off and on malaise/depression/yuk seems to have gone! Leaving my happy, grateful spirit intact. And this darn tiredness even after 9 (YES NINE) hours of sleep! And Thank You God for this day!
Thank you for my housekeeper who's is here today! She is a God-send!
Thank you for my practioners who will help me determine the options for chelating the lead. And help keep me on my healing path!
Thank you for the massage appointment @ noon which will force me to get out & about for my daily walk! Because I feel more like curling up & watching a movie!
Send Love and Hugs!
Nina
When you have something, then you notice it's absence.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 08, 2009 12:23 PM, PST
When you have something, then you notice it's absence. And vice versa.
And this morning when I woke up, I noticed the absence of feeling well. The trend of it also. The combination of foggy headiness like the effects of hangover (yet no alcohol has been consumed for over five months) and coming down with a cold (tied, run-down & head congestion). Plus my hands and feet are much more achy nnd hurt more than usual when I use them. Yet I slept a good nine hours!
And after feeling GREAT for a number of months, this trend in the past month of feeling not well, sends me into doubt. And that my recovery is regressing not progressing. And...... Amazing all the negative, low energy voices that start coming out and talking as I tell myself that is it best to get up and do the things planned for today.
So this journaling helps me capture the low, high and in=between moments of this journey. This chaotic place between the old life I had before I got sick. And the new life that is yet to un-fold! So that I do not loose sight in the midst of all these negative, low energy voices, that I have come a long way. And there has been progression. And it all takes time.
Someone told me we get a new physical body every seven years. So let's see that means I'm working on my eighth one. With that in mind, all I'm doing is dedicated to this new body & all my internals working optimally!
Onward ho! to the planned activities for today - getting out and visiting with friends.
When you have something, then you notice it's absence. And vice versa.
And this morning when I woke up, I noticed the absence of feeling well. The trend of it also. The combination of foggy headiness like the effects of hangover (yet no alcohol has been consumed for over five months) and coming down with a cold (tied, run-down & head congestion). Plus my hands and feet are much more achy nnd hurt more than usual when I use them. Yet I slept a good nine hours!
And after feeling GREAT for a number of months, this trend in the past month of feeling not well, sends me into doubt. And that my recovery is regressing not progressing. And...... Amazing all the negative, low energy voices that start coming out and talking as I tell myself that is it best to get up and do the things planned for today.
So this journaling helps me capture the low, high and in=between moments of this journey. This chaotic place between the old life I had before I got sick. And the new life that is yet to un-fold! So that I do not loose sight in the midst of all these negative, low energy voices, that I have come a long way. And there has been progression. And it all takes time.
Someone told me we get a new physical body every seven years. So let's see that means I'm working on my eighth one. With that in mind, all I'm doing is dedicated to this new body & all my internals working optimally!
Onward ho! to the planned activities for today - getting out and visiting with friends.
GOOD news: the toxic metal levels have declined
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 04, 2009 09:56 AM, PST
Yesterday, saw the ND to go over the follow-up urine challenge test results. GOOD news: the toxic metal levels have declined. With the lead level still very elevated. And that is odd, since the DMSA acts like a magnet, drawing metals to it in priority order with lead being the first. Mercury is down the line.
And you know me, ever looking at the entire picture. <> Other toxic metals popped up that were lower or not there on the initial test. The ND said that might happen. Yet was not concerned since these were “within reference range”. Yes and there are no "safe ranges" for toxic metals. Oh well, one thing at a time LOL! Noting this as my body is stressed and not necessarily the stress I used to think of. One of the stressors is these metals stored in my body – yes individually, yet also collectively. This is my note not the ND's.
AND I ask the ND:
what happened inside my body that caused me to store the mercury and lead instead of eliminating? And whatever that is, is it healing so my body doesn't store going forward? The ND says that's hard to say. This is my reality check - to see if there is anything more to be done to support my body's healing.
He outlines the cycle:
Exposure to the toxic metal. Thus minimize exposure going forward. Fascinating that mercury or lead can show up in places I had not considered. Like vaccines (mercury). Or lead (in soil/dirt/sand)
Once inside the body, then the body's natural digestive and detoxification processes start working. Liver, stomach, kidneys, bowels, skin
AND is the chelating drug really helping in the long run? Unknown. Short run, given the urine challenge results, looks good at least for the mercury. And for lead, it requires two drugs: DMSA and EDTA. Or so the ND thinks - he was not sure of the protocol. And the ND caveated: this may not get what's stored in bones, soft tissues, brain, etc.
HMMMM, time to consult with the integrative MD, the NRT practioner, and/or someone who knows more about lead toxicity and the related chelation therapy (than this particular ND).
Onward ho!
Yesterday, saw the ND to go over the follow-up urine challenge test results. GOOD news: the toxic metal levels have declined. With the lead level still very elevated. And that is odd, since the DMSA acts like a magnet, drawing metals to it in priority order with lead being the first. Mercury is down the line.
And you know me, ever looking at the entire picture. <
AND I ask the ND:
what happened inside my body that caused me to store the mercury and lead instead of eliminating? And whatever that is, is it healing so my body doesn't store going forward? The ND says that's hard to say. This is my reality check - to see if there is anything more to be done to support my body's healing.
He outlines the cycle:
Exposure to the toxic metal. Thus minimize exposure going forward. Fascinating that mercury or lead can show up in places I had not considered. Like vaccines (mercury). Or lead (in soil/dirt/sand)
Once inside the body, then the body's natural digestive and detoxification processes start working. Liver, stomach, kidneys, bowels, skin
AND is the chelating drug really helping in the long run? Unknown. Short run, given the urine challenge results, looks good at least for the mercury. And for lead, it requires two drugs: DMSA and EDTA. Or so the ND thinks - he was not sure of the protocol. And the ND caveated: this may not get what's stored in bones, soft tissues, brain, etc.
HMMMM, time to consult with the integrative MD, the NRT practioner, and/or someone who knows more about lead toxicity and the related chelation therapy (than this particular ND).
Onward ho!
Being In Transition
Started these notes today (2009 Febuary 1) -- some 18 months after all my physical symptoms started showing up and the MDs gave me the diagnoses. Not to re-hash the past journey. Instead to help me focus on where I am today. So I can learn from the past. Help me navigate......for my journey is not over……yet!
My intention: to be a well-being!
Love & Hugs!
Nina
======
15 August 2008, saw the integrative MD today for the blood and urine test results. Nothing jumped out at him except
--very elevated levels of mercury and lead
--no beneficial bacteria growth
Lead level surprised me. Even the mercury level surprised me. That was given the Nutrition Response Testing practioner I started working with (February 2008) had muscle tested & found my body has a mercury challenge. We’d been using nutrition & whole food supplements to strengthen and detox my body. Still....metal toxicity appeared to be the cause of all the stuff I'd been experiencing. How validating!
The integrative MD offered up two options for chelating the mercury and lead: homeopathic or chelating drug. And referred me to an ND to oversee the chelation therapy. After going back & forth in my mind ( A LOT), I chose the chelating drug (DMSA).
After 16 weeks of chelating, overall feeling GREAT and minimal side effects. Really felt like this was it. The re-testing in January would be clean. 2009 would begin with me well. Yes, and then came the following weeks.
On the GREAT side, would often wake up in the morning and NOT be foggy-headed. Or NOT feel tired after 9 hours of sleep. Swelling in my fingers/hand subsided. Achiness/pain in my fingers and feet was less.
In the last two weeks of chelating, started noticing symptoms returning. Plus other things like vision changes. And I checked with the MD and the ND. Both believed these were detoxing effects.
Onward ho! To February......
My intention: to be a well-being!
Love & Hugs!
Nina
======
15 August 2008, saw the integrative MD today for the blood and urine test results. Nothing jumped out at him except
--very elevated levels of mercury and lead
--no beneficial bacteria growth
Lead level surprised me. Even the mercury level surprised me. That was given the Nutrition Response Testing practioner I started working with (February 2008) had muscle tested & found my body has a mercury challenge. We’d been using nutrition & whole food supplements to strengthen and detox my body. Still....metal toxicity appeared to be the cause of all the stuff I'd been experiencing. How validating!
The integrative MD offered up two options for chelating the mercury and lead: homeopathic or chelating drug. And referred me to an ND to oversee the chelation therapy. After going back & forth in my mind ( A LOT), I chose the chelating drug (DMSA).
After 16 weeks of chelating, overall feeling GREAT and minimal side effects. Really felt like this was it. The re-testing in January would be clean. 2009 would begin with me well. Yes, and then came the following weeks.
On the GREAT side, would often wake up in the morning and NOT be foggy-headed. Or NOT feel tired after 9 hours of sleep. Swelling in my fingers/hand subsided. Achiness/pain in my fingers and feet was less.
In the last two weeks of chelating, started noticing symptoms returning. Plus other things like vision changes. And I checked with the MD and the ND. Both believed these were detoxing effects.
Onward ho! To February......
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