Earlier I was reflecting on a conversation with a friend yesterday. And what came up for me, is how often do I tell someone the impact of something they said or did on me? And how will I free myself from my habitual ways?
How often do I.....
thank someone for the kindness they show me?
thank someone for being my friend?
thank the MUNI driver for the ride?
thank the chef for a great tasting meal?
thank me for cooking a tasty meal?
thank me for taking awesome good self-care?
and the list goes on.
Actually, I find I do this more so now than in years gone by. I like to include thanking me because I love me and I want to treat me as well as I treat others.
And now the shadow side...
How often do I...
tell someone that what they said hurt my feelings?
tell someone that what they did hurt?
tell myself that what I just told myself hurt?
tell myself that what I just did to myself was mean?
and the list goes on.
Well, this part is still difficult for me to do. And with the help of me, myself, and I practicing on me :-) I am getting the hang of doing this with others. Namely Tom. If I cannot practice with myself and my partner...who am I going to practice with???
Not easy for me to dis-mantle my walls enough to tell someone OUCH that hurt and to have hem witness my pain or hurt or tears from the OUCH. Yet I realize that how will the other person know unless I choose to tell him or her. Wise Compassion begins with me stating the impact on me (OUCH, that hurt) and going from there. And letting go of wanting the other to respond in a certain way. And asking for what I want...I want to have my pain, my hurt, my tears acknowledged before we move on in this conversation for example.
So I end this post with an intention to practice making my OUCHs evident to the other.
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