Saturday, 28 Febuary 2009 8:45 PM PDT
Sometimes hearing your voice say something out loud to someone else unlocks the answer you know deep inside.
Or write.
Perhaps that's another reason for these posts, to unlock the answer I know deep within.
Today was my Dancing with Source energetic healing workshop. Feel truly blessed & appreciative of today's work. From it, came the response to my asking for guidance. And I believed I had just asked in the past 7 or so days. WRONG. I looked through my journaling and the thread runs through my journaling since 17 January 2009. Wanting to know what am I protecting? What am I avoiding? Not on a physical plane - on an emotional, spiritual plane. For healing the physical has taken front & center for the past months now (as the posts point to).
Healing my congruency with Self-Sacrifice. And the various ways it shows up for me. WEO, that's huge for me! Now I've written it down so I don't conveniently 'forget' it.
Interesting - before I went to the DWS workshop today, I had cleared my calendar for the next two weeks to rest the body (and do energetic healing work @ other levels for myself). Funny, how things fall into place when there is flow!
And after 6 weeks, realized that a lot of my old ways of avoiding or distracting myself from facing stuff don't work. And I'm creative so I created new ways. What I won't do to avoid! LOL! Practicing discernment. AND I will do the work - in my own time, yet I will do the work.
And I appreciate all that the chelation and purification program stirred up (hindsight). For I am in a good place to dance, dance, dance with Self-Sacrifice. For as long as it takes for it (and its many forms) to tell me what it needs to tell me. And vice versa. As Gloria calls them "messages of love". And then we can thank each other for the dance. I can move to the next dance. And they can move to the Light!
Time for sleep! LOTS of sleep!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
AHA
Thursday, 26 Febuary 2009 11:17 AM PST
A huge AHA. And pieces of the puzzle falling together.
Hindsight, catalysts were probably bits and pieces of conversations or things I saw, read, heard in the past week. And FINALLY listening to what my friend Gloria calls "messages of love" from malaise, depression, apathy, lethargy. Especially de-pression.
Did a lot of journaling over the weekend. Been a long time so writing felt good. On Monday talked with my nutrition response testing (NRT) practioner. And then Tuesday the AHA got punctuated when talking to my naturathic doctor. And again when I got together with a friend Tuesday night. And as I talked with my therapist yesterday (started back visiting with her yesterday), hearing myself say the following - hit home to the core.
Basically, here I am thinking (operative word thinking) that I have NOT been doing much of anything since I got back from visiting Nancy, Lester, Sara, Doug back in NC. In my true Nina style, I ended heavy metal chelation for removing the mercury and lead on 19 January (thus detoxing heavy metals for 19 weeks). Then I decide 9 days later, after my NRT practioner suggests it, to do the Standard Process purification program for 21 days (general detoxing and support of the body's organs) along with some of the other patients.
No wonder I feel the way I feel - physically, emotionally, etc, etc. Completely forgot and denied that when the body is eliminating toxic stuff, it is not only stirring stuff up @ all levels, it also tries to heal. And when it's healing, the symptoms often get worse first, then better. And the body needs a lot of energy to heal, detox. And all through this, I kept putting activities on my calendar NOT slowing down.
Boy oh boy, my body de-pressed. I was pressing forward to get back to my "normal life" or whatever. Pressing through all the effects of the chelation & purification program. Trying to speed up the natural healing process. Pressing through that. So the body de-pressed each time I pressed. In order to get me to slow down and take time (and as importantly my energy) to heal from the chelation and detox.
Thank God for each conversation I had over the past several weeks (much appreciation to Eduard, Donna, Alice, Cheryl, Ann, Edgardo). And for me FINALLY. FINALLY taking the time to listen to what the de-pression was trying to tell me (instead of telling her to go away or get out of my way).
Keeping my calendar down to the bare minimum for the next two weeks. So I can allow my body to rest and heal. AND LISTEN!
A huge AHA. And pieces of the puzzle falling together.
Hindsight, catalysts were probably bits and pieces of conversations or things I saw, read, heard in the past week. And FINALLY listening to what my friend Gloria calls "messages of love" from malaise, depression, apathy, lethargy. Especially de-pression.
Did a lot of journaling over the weekend. Been a long time so writing felt good. On Monday talked with my nutrition response testing (NRT) practioner. And then Tuesday the AHA got punctuated when talking to my naturathic doctor. And again when I got together with a friend Tuesday night. And as I talked with my therapist yesterday (started back visiting with her yesterday), hearing myself say the following - hit home to the core.
Basically, here I am thinking (operative word thinking) that I have NOT been doing much of anything since I got back from visiting Nancy, Lester, Sara, Doug back in NC. In my true Nina style, I ended heavy metal chelation for removing the mercury and lead on 19 January (thus detoxing heavy metals for 19 weeks). Then I decide 9 days later, after my NRT practioner suggests it, to do the Standard Process purification program for 21 days (general detoxing and support of the body's organs) along with some of the other patients.
No wonder I feel the way I feel - physically, emotionally, etc, etc. Completely forgot and denied that when the body is eliminating toxic stuff, it is not only stirring stuff up @ all levels, it also tries to heal. And when it's healing, the symptoms often get worse first, then better. And the body needs a lot of energy to heal, detox. And all through this, I kept putting activities on my calendar NOT slowing down.
Boy oh boy, my body de-pressed. I was pressing forward to get back to my "normal life" or whatever. Pressing through all the effects of the chelation & purification program. Trying to speed up the natural healing process. Pressing through that. So the body de-pressed each time I pressed. In order to get me to slow down and take time (and as importantly my energy) to heal from the chelation and detox.
Thank God for each conversation I had over the past several weeks (much appreciation to Eduard, Donna, Alice, Cheryl, Ann, Edgardo). And for me FINALLY. FINALLY taking the time to listen to what the de-pression was trying to tell me (instead of telling her to go away or get out of my way).
Keeping my calendar down to the bare minimum for the next two weeks. So I can allow my body to rest and heal. AND LISTEN!
Nutrition Response Testing Practioner
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2009 11:36 AM, PST
Saw my Nutrition Response Testing practioner yesterday. She's GREAT. She listens, is supportive, gives tough-love. And it was good to see her. As we talked, I realized that I have come a long way in a year. I began working with her on 19 Febuary last year.
AND current heavy metals test results show mercury and lead are getting out of my body. And there continues to be lead and other metals left there.
Lead and other metals left there - guessing that's the reason I feel the way I feel these days. Not well! Up and down! Thank goodness there is an explanation. And possible protocols. And I'm not crazy!
Waiting to hear back from the integrative MD - figure this week or next. And the practioner with hair mineral analysis results - next week.
Best to focus on all that is well in my life!
Acknowledge that which is not well.
Love them ALL!
Saw my Nutrition Response Testing practioner yesterday. She's GREAT. She listens, is supportive, gives tough-love. And it was good to see her. As we talked, I realized that I have come a long way in a year. I began working with her on 19 Febuary last year.
AND current heavy metals test results show mercury and lead are getting out of my body. And there continues to be lead and other metals left there.
Lead and other metals left there - guessing that's the reason I feel the way I feel these days. Not well! Up and down! Thank goodness there is an explanation. And possible protocols. And I'm not crazy!
Waiting to hear back from the integrative MD - figure this week or next. And the practioner with hair mineral analysis results - next week.
Best to focus on all that is well in my life!
Acknowledge that which is not well.
Love them ALL!
this is dedicated to sara and chase william
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2009 12:08 PM, CST
Today I am dedicating all my well-being activities to my niece Sara and the little boy that is due to be born on 8 May!
Realize today that I wanted so bad for the lead and mercury toxicity to be "fixed' after one 16-week course of chelation therapy. That when this did not happen, the disappointment & frustration got the better of me.
And the disappointment, frustration, malaise, depression taught me and showed me that I am human. I am strong. I have come a long way in healing. I will continue to seek the protocals that support what my system needs to heal herself. The "size that fits me" not the "one size fits all".
Today I am dedicating all my well-being activities to my niece Sara and the little boy that is due to be born on 8 May!
Realize today that I wanted so bad for the lead and mercury toxicity to be "fixed' after one 16-week course of chelation therapy. That when this did not happen, the disappointment & frustration got the better of me.
And the disappointment, frustration, malaise, depression taught me and showed me that I am human. I am strong. I have come a long way in healing. I will continue to seek the protocals that support what my system needs to heal herself. The "size that fits me" not the "one size fits all".
to my lunch buddies
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2009 10:18 AM, PST
Today I dedicate all my well-being activites to my lunch buddies: June, Amie, Glenn, Carol, JD!
Dedicating what I do to someone else helps the "not feeling well" more palatable! And yeah for today - the off and on malaise/depression/yuk seems to have gone! Leaving my happy, grateful spirit intact. And this darn tiredness even after 9 (YES NINE) hours of sleep! And Thank You God for this day!
Thank you for my housekeeper who's is here today! She is a God-send!
Thank you for my practioners who will help me determine the options for chelating the lead. And help keep me on my healing path!
Thank you for the massage appointment @ noon which will force me to get out & about for my daily walk! Because I feel more like curling up & watching a movie!
Send Love and Hugs!
Nina
Today I dedicate all my well-being activites to my lunch buddies: June, Amie, Glenn, Carol, JD!
Dedicating what I do to someone else helps the "not feeling well" more palatable! And yeah for today - the off and on malaise/depression/yuk seems to have gone! Leaving my happy, grateful spirit intact. And this darn tiredness even after 9 (YES NINE) hours of sleep! And Thank You God for this day!
Thank you for my housekeeper who's is here today! She is a God-send!
Thank you for my practioners who will help me determine the options for chelating the lead. And help keep me on my healing path!
Thank you for the massage appointment @ noon which will force me to get out & about for my daily walk! Because I feel more like curling up & watching a movie!
Send Love and Hugs!
Nina
When you have something, then you notice it's absence.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 08, 2009 12:23 PM, PST
When you have something, then you notice it's absence. And vice versa.
And this morning when I woke up, I noticed the absence of feeling well. The trend of it also. The combination of foggy headiness like the effects of hangover (yet no alcohol has been consumed for over five months) and coming down with a cold (tied, run-down & head congestion). Plus my hands and feet are much more achy nnd hurt more than usual when I use them. Yet I slept a good nine hours!
And after feeling GREAT for a number of months, this trend in the past month of feeling not well, sends me into doubt. And that my recovery is regressing not progressing. And...... Amazing all the negative, low energy voices that start coming out and talking as I tell myself that is it best to get up and do the things planned for today.
So this journaling helps me capture the low, high and in=between moments of this journey. This chaotic place between the old life I had before I got sick. And the new life that is yet to un-fold! So that I do not loose sight in the midst of all these negative, low energy voices, that I have come a long way. And there has been progression. And it all takes time.
Someone told me we get a new physical body every seven years. So let's see that means I'm working on my eighth one. With that in mind, all I'm doing is dedicated to this new body & all my internals working optimally!
Onward ho! to the planned activities for today - getting out and visiting with friends.
When you have something, then you notice it's absence. And vice versa.
And this morning when I woke up, I noticed the absence of feeling well. The trend of it also. The combination of foggy headiness like the effects of hangover (yet no alcohol has been consumed for over five months) and coming down with a cold (tied, run-down & head congestion). Plus my hands and feet are much more achy nnd hurt more than usual when I use them. Yet I slept a good nine hours!
And after feeling GREAT for a number of months, this trend in the past month of feeling not well, sends me into doubt. And that my recovery is regressing not progressing. And...... Amazing all the negative, low energy voices that start coming out and talking as I tell myself that is it best to get up and do the things planned for today.
So this journaling helps me capture the low, high and in=between moments of this journey. This chaotic place between the old life I had before I got sick. And the new life that is yet to un-fold! So that I do not loose sight in the midst of all these negative, low energy voices, that I have come a long way. And there has been progression. And it all takes time.
Someone told me we get a new physical body every seven years. So let's see that means I'm working on my eighth one. With that in mind, all I'm doing is dedicated to this new body & all my internals working optimally!
Onward ho! to the planned activities for today - getting out and visiting with friends.
GOOD news: the toxic metal levels have declined
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 04, 2009 09:56 AM, PST
Yesterday, saw the ND to go over the follow-up urine challenge test results. GOOD news: the toxic metal levels have declined. With the lead level still very elevated. And that is odd, since the DMSA acts like a magnet, drawing metals to it in priority order with lead being the first. Mercury is down the line.
And you know me, ever looking at the entire picture. <> Other toxic metals popped up that were lower or not there on the initial test. The ND said that might happen. Yet was not concerned since these were “within reference range”. Yes and there are no "safe ranges" for toxic metals. Oh well, one thing at a time LOL! Noting this as my body is stressed and not necessarily the stress I used to think of. One of the stressors is these metals stored in my body – yes individually, yet also collectively. This is my note not the ND's.
AND I ask the ND:
what happened inside my body that caused me to store the mercury and lead instead of eliminating? And whatever that is, is it healing so my body doesn't store going forward? The ND says that's hard to say. This is my reality check - to see if there is anything more to be done to support my body's healing.
He outlines the cycle:
Exposure to the toxic metal. Thus minimize exposure going forward. Fascinating that mercury or lead can show up in places I had not considered. Like vaccines (mercury). Or lead (in soil/dirt/sand)
Once inside the body, then the body's natural digestive and detoxification processes start working. Liver, stomach, kidneys, bowels, skin
AND is the chelating drug really helping in the long run? Unknown. Short run, given the urine challenge results, looks good at least for the mercury. And for lead, it requires two drugs: DMSA and EDTA. Or so the ND thinks - he was not sure of the protocol. And the ND caveated: this may not get what's stored in bones, soft tissues, brain, etc.
HMMMM, time to consult with the integrative MD, the NRT practioner, and/or someone who knows more about lead toxicity and the related chelation therapy (than this particular ND).
Onward ho!
Yesterday, saw the ND to go over the follow-up urine challenge test results. GOOD news: the toxic metal levels have declined. With the lead level still very elevated. And that is odd, since the DMSA acts like a magnet, drawing metals to it in priority order with lead being the first. Mercury is down the line.
And you know me, ever looking at the entire picture. <
AND I ask the ND:
what happened inside my body that caused me to store the mercury and lead instead of eliminating? And whatever that is, is it healing so my body doesn't store going forward? The ND says that's hard to say. This is my reality check - to see if there is anything more to be done to support my body's healing.
He outlines the cycle:
Exposure to the toxic metal. Thus minimize exposure going forward. Fascinating that mercury or lead can show up in places I had not considered. Like vaccines (mercury). Or lead (in soil/dirt/sand)
Once inside the body, then the body's natural digestive and detoxification processes start working. Liver, stomach, kidneys, bowels, skin
AND is the chelating drug really helping in the long run? Unknown. Short run, given the urine challenge results, looks good at least for the mercury. And for lead, it requires two drugs: DMSA and EDTA. Or so the ND thinks - he was not sure of the protocol. And the ND caveated: this may not get what's stored in bones, soft tissues, brain, etc.
HMMMM, time to consult with the integrative MD, the NRT practioner, and/or someone who knows more about lead toxicity and the related chelation therapy (than this particular ND).
Onward ho!
Being In Transition
Started these notes today (2009 Febuary 1) -- some 18 months after all my physical symptoms started showing up and the MDs gave me the diagnoses. Not to re-hash the past journey. Instead to help me focus on where I am today. So I can learn from the past. Help me navigate......for my journey is not over……yet!
My intention: to be a well-being!
Love & Hugs!
Nina
======
15 August 2008, saw the integrative MD today for the blood and urine test results. Nothing jumped out at him except
--very elevated levels of mercury and lead
--no beneficial bacteria growth
Lead level surprised me. Even the mercury level surprised me. That was given the Nutrition Response Testing practioner I started working with (February 2008) had muscle tested & found my body has a mercury challenge. We’d been using nutrition & whole food supplements to strengthen and detox my body. Still....metal toxicity appeared to be the cause of all the stuff I'd been experiencing. How validating!
The integrative MD offered up two options for chelating the mercury and lead: homeopathic or chelating drug. And referred me to an ND to oversee the chelation therapy. After going back & forth in my mind ( A LOT), I chose the chelating drug (DMSA).
After 16 weeks of chelating, overall feeling GREAT and minimal side effects. Really felt like this was it. The re-testing in January would be clean. 2009 would begin with me well. Yes, and then came the following weeks.
On the GREAT side, would often wake up in the morning and NOT be foggy-headed. Or NOT feel tired after 9 hours of sleep. Swelling in my fingers/hand subsided. Achiness/pain in my fingers and feet was less.
In the last two weeks of chelating, started noticing symptoms returning. Plus other things like vision changes. And I checked with the MD and the ND. Both believed these were detoxing effects.
Onward ho! To February......
My intention: to be a well-being!
Love & Hugs!
Nina
======
15 August 2008, saw the integrative MD today for the blood and urine test results. Nothing jumped out at him except
--very elevated levels of mercury and lead
--no beneficial bacteria growth
Lead level surprised me. Even the mercury level surprised me. That was given the Nutrition Response Testing practioner I started working with (February 2008) had muscle tested & found my body has a mercury challenge. We’d been using nutrition & whole food supplements to strengthen and detox my body. Still....metal toxicity appeared to be the cause of all the stuff I'd been experiencing. How validating!
The integrative MD offered up two options for chelating the mercury and lead: homeopathic or chelating drug. And referred me to an ND to oversee the chelation therapy. After going back & forth in my mind ( A LOT), I chose the chelating drug (DMSA).
After 16 weeks of chelating, overall feeling GREAT and minimal side effects. Really felt like this was it. The re-testing in January would be clean. 2009 would begin with me well. Yes, and then came the following weeks.
On the GREAT side, would often wake up in the morning and NOT be foggy-headed. Or NOT feel tired after 9 hours of sleep. Swelling in my fingers/hand subsided. Achiness/pain in my fingers and feet was less.
In the last two weeks of chelating, started noticing symptoms returning. Plus other things like vision changes. And I checked with the MD and the ND. Both believed these were detoxing effects.
Onward ho! To February......
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