22 September last year and this year (2013)

A year ago on 22 September, I began walking Camino Frances (from St Jean Pied-de-Port, France to Santiago, Spain).

What a year it has been!

In a nutshell...a lot more clearing on different levels.  Walking for 64 days from sleeping place to sleeping place on Camino Frances and Camino Fisterre, with just me, what I was wearing, my backpack, and other pereginos - gave me the sense when I returned to my home - continue to clear whatever I do not use or need.  Definitely felt the energy of that when I returned to my home during January, after being away for 5 months.  Everything there was mine!  AND I had done just fine without it all for 5 months!

AHHH, the journey, the Camino continues.  One filled with ups and downs.  Stops and starts.  Action and reflection.  Doing and being.  Amazing to notice to this day...how easy or how hard it is for me to discard an item, a belief, a habit.  All Good for I continue to learn!  To discern!

Definitely acquiring only what I will use either now or very soon thereafter, is a fabulous-o habit I now have.  That includes, as a friend and I noted the other day....saying “no” to free anything or items that are offered to me that I will not use right away -- newspapers, samples, plastic bags (Nancy are you reading this :-), posters, pamphlets….

And the best part of all my clearing -- I cleared out whatever fears, doubts, resistances I had around living with a partner.  Since I returned, Tom, Benny the 8-year old black Labrador, and I were living together either here at my home or there at his home.  And we decided that my home is our home.  For someone who believed I would live solo for the rest of my life, this is a HUGE letting go!  And a HUGE trusting!

And this adventure continues.   I read this recently..."When we open the door to living within a broader community, we also open the door to the hidden recesses of our own processes.  Issues that rarely arose in the privacy of our personal lives, issues that we had become adept at sidestepping, or those we thought we had dealt with suddenly emerge in glaring detail.  It can be a shock to find yourself staring in the mirror at a behavior that is far below your well-established personal standards.  At times like this, you need to accept your failing with grace and compassion and at the same time appreciate the rare gift you have been offered of a clear reflection into your soul."  pg 222 The Community of Kindness.

Tom and I have been given the rare gifts of being mirrors for each other.  I definitely remember this as we laugh and love our way through life's ups and downs.  And try to remember that when our conversations go south.  Or I throw out a few snide comments.  We are both blessed to be partners in Life's adventures!

Anywho….grateful for all the guidance and support I’ve gotten and will get as I continue to let go of the clutter as Julie Morgenstern defines it…."Any obsolete object, space, committment, or behavior that weighs you down, distracts you, or depletes your energy." (pg 36, When Organizing Isn"t Enough, SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life by Julie Morgenstern).

Clearing definitely leads to clarity!  DUHHH!

Small things often, make a difference.  John Gottman

Here's a photo of Tom and I "playing tourist" on a beautiful weather day along The Bay!

Buen Camino!

It Is Official...Tom and I Living Together

Wednesday...28 August 2013...the movers moved Tom's desk, dresser, kitchen table & chairs, Japanese night stand here.  And he exchanged his apartment keys for the security deposit he gave two years ago.

It's Official...we are living together!  Even though we have been living together either at my home or at his home.  Now there is no more...here...there.  My home...his home.  Now there is only our home.

The adventure...continues!

And the day after...I am exhausted from all the events prior to the move day!  Now I understand the need for a honeymoon after the marriage day!  And the need for rest.  Restore.  Adjust.  Recalibrate.  Honor the end of one chapter.  Honor the beginning of the next.

And a week later...it's been crappy and shitty for me.  And I have taken it out on him via snide comments...conversations that went south.  Passive communications.  Passive-Aggressive communications.

Yet it is "All Good" for I am faced with aspects of myself that would only arise when living with someone.

What a rare gift...

What a beautiful learning...
To have this mirror into my interior!

I say this....as I grin and bear the view into my interior!

It is great that in the midst of all this, we love each other.  We want to be with each other.  Those are gifts as well.

Onward Ho!

Clearing Out Items Continues....

Tuesday, 27 August 2013 and my clearing continues....

Just sold the Chinese carved bar cabinet that I bought back in 1985.  And had not used for the past 10 years.

A bit of remorse for not bargaining with the man (as I took his first offer which was much less than the price that I posted on Craigslist).

AND as importantly...happy for it to be out of my home and into a new home.  It is a large (18 inches deep by 36 inches wide by 38 inches tall) Chinese carved bar cabinet.  Which was also darn heavy and bulky for the man and his wife to get down the stairs.

Feels good...to see that clear space where the cabinet used to live (see photos)

Happy to have one less item in my space.

And perfect timing....Thank You Source.  One hour prior to the man's arrival, the Container Store completed the install of Elfa hanging space for Tom's clothes (see photo).  And Tom's desk and dresser are coming tomorrow from Mill Valley.

Transition and changes in-process.  And glad I am starting my mornings with Morning Pages then meditation, then healthy breakfast.  Supplements, fish oils, systemic enzymes, digestive enzymes.  Lots of Thank Yous thrown in.  Awe-some Self-Care to help me stay grounded, centered, and in the present.

Last year on 1 September I was leaving on my trip with June and then to walk El Camino.

The adventure...continues....so stay tuned.

My Next Theme....

Well it is Saturday, 10 August 2013 and reflecting..

Lots of changes for me in the past months.  Past weeks.

From holding an intention to live together at the beginning of the year to actually living together.  Tom, his dog Benny, and I are now living together in what was once my home, now our home.  That happened after July 4th.  Very happy!  Excited!  Scared!  Yet All Good because this is a growing, evolving edge for me - living with a partner (for the first time).

And now here is it August and Tom is emptying his place of his belongings because his lease expires August-end.  We're deciding what comes here.  What goes to "another home" by way of Salvation Army or Goodwill.  And Tom is being sensitive, thoughtful about what comes into the emotional, energetic, physical space that I have cleared for living together with a partner.  All Good!  Feels loving, loved, co-mingling.  And clear spaces are now staging areas as we re-configure our space.  I can tell I am a visual person as the sight of things in the music/meditation room (albeit, temporarily the staging area) has me want to clear and clean.  And find "homes" in our home for these items.  All Good.

And closet to be transformed with the help of Elfa and Container Store installers so Tom has a place to hang his clothes.  Which means I need to clear that closet :-) of items that no longer serve me now.  Feels fun to figure this out with the help of Tom and the Container Store folks.  And will be great to get his clothes off the portable clothes racks in the staging area into their new "home".

A bedroom window and a living room window won't open.  And cannot be fixed, only replaced.  So I am in the midst of talking to contractors and getting bids for replacing my windows.  Before I would have put this repair off and made-do.  Now I understand the value of having things that function well - makes life ease, easy, flow.

The bathtub needs re-caulking and re-sealing as well.  Yet another topic to discuss with contractors to get a bid.

A theme is showing up.  And fits into a book that someone from my Hoarding class and part of my Clearing Cohort recommended yesterday (Organization Isn't Enough, SHED You Stuff, Change Your Life by Julie Morgenstern),  And specifically, the author's definition of clutter "any obsolete object, space, commitment, or behavior that weighs you down, distracts you, or depletes your energy."  page 36.

Yes....the theme is I am shedding any obsolete object, space, commitment, or behavior (and a friend added 'person") that weighs me down, distracts me, or depletes my energy...from being who I am...now.

I realize that my intention is....I want to be light!  Mobile!  Free!  I want the feeling I had while walking El Camino!  Light, mobile, free.

And thus the Universe continues to provide me with opportunities to let go of "any obsolete object, space, commitment, or behavior that weighs me down, distracts me, or depletes my energy." from that theme, that intention, that feeling.

Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You!

Here's knowing you, too, will let go of "any obsolete object, space, commitment, or behavior that weighs you down, distracts you, or depletes your energy." from how you want to feel...now.

Synchronicisty Abounds!

25 July 2013....

Synchronicisty abounds!

I awoke exhausted this morning and was just going to blow off my practices (or structures as the e-mail below calls them).  Recovering from yesterday's activities felt like awe-some reasons to do that.  Benny the dog had a sick stomach from 4 to 7 a.m.  His wretching awoke me and I was the clean-up person.  Two-hour afternoon discussion with my financial advisor.  After that one hour discussion with my partner about finances and co-habitating.  Tired before 9 pm as I lay in a warm Epson salt bath laced with lavender and eucalyptus essential oils.

Yet as I thought of those activities...a tiny still voice said...get up and do your morning pages.  No I am tired I said to myself.  I deserve to rest today.  I don't have to be anywhere until 4 pm so I am going to go back to sleep.  Get up and do your morning pages repeated the tiny still voice.

So I FINALLY did...  And as my pen flowed, capturing the un-edited download from my mind, my brain, my interior....to fill three letter sized pages...it felt good.  To get all that stuff out of me.  To notice what I notice.  Yes...clearing takes place at all levels.  For hoarding and cluttering does not occur just with physical items :-)

And 30 or so minutes later...still exhausted  yet feeling lighter on my interior, I am poised for my next best thing as Gloria V would say.

I have not been paying much attention to my e-mails, so I opened my e-mail folder.  And scanned the Subject lines for only inspiration.  I hear Brother David saying to David Whyte -- the antidote to exhaustion is whole-heartedness.  VOILA...see the e-mail at the bottom of this blog!  And view this fabulous reminder in this TED talk by Kathleen Taylor.  http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=4029

In reading Gloria V's daily thought and viewing the TED talk.....I thought.....how synchronistic Source!  My morning pages noted the various ways I daily practice self care...clearing...cleaning!  How I am being in this world!  And the e-mail and the TED talk told me I am on the right path for me.

My daily practices or structures are important because I am worth it.  From morning pages to eatting from my best dishes to preparing myself healthy food that visually looks and tastes great to walking outside to exploring The City to checking out food at a new Happy Hour to being with folks who are also nurturing themselves to seeking inspiration to saying thank you for every little thing.  And the list goes on.  Makes feeling exhausted aok.  And part of being human.

Cheers to whatever practices...structures...help you nourish and nurture you!  You are very, very worth it!

-----

Begin forwarded message:

From: Gloria Valoris <gvaloris@pacbell.net>
Date: July 25, 2013, 8:56:19 AM PDT
To:
Subject: Thought for the Day

 “Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night."      William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

 

When we were talking about secure versus insecure thinking at the meeting on Sunday, one of the items that came up as a necessity for secure thinking is feeling in control of your own behavior. When you don't feel that you could direct your behavior in constructive ways, it undermines feeling secure in many other areas as well. One of the most powerful tools for being able to control your behavior is to create a structure for your activities that make doing various positive actions at set times a fairly automatic process.

 

If your life currently has no identifiable pattern, you will likely find that the easiest place to begin to create structure is establishing a routine for going to bed at some optimal time (usually around 10 or 11 for greatest biorhythm benefit). Action such as getting into your pajamas an hour or two before your bedtime, brushing your teeth, and wrapping up whatever activities you were engaged in earlier in the evening help to get you in the mindset to fall asleep at the most appropriate time. Once you have established the pattern of going to bed at a regular time, other good habits become easier to establish.

 

REMEMBER: Gratitude for the small things in life that go right helps to increase the number of bigger things that go right.

Gloria Valoris
Optimal Organizations - Helping small businesses, nonprofits, and individuals Thrive!
415-647-0107

The 3rd edition of Overcome Hoarding and Transform Your Life: How to Choose Hope and Life Instead of Things  and the 2nd edition of Making Life Easier: Simple Systems to Manage Your Things, Time, Money, and Life - Painlessly!

are available now. Orders for both accepted by email.

Visit me on the web at www.optimalorganizations.com

Happy 23 June and Happy Summer....

Happy 23 June and Happy Summer....

And now that I am holidaying from clearing out old boxes of items.  Or deciding what items to keep or discard ... welcome to my way of en-joying and exploring San Francisco.  Often Free.  Often Cheap.  Resurrected my days when I first moved to here -- 25 years ago -- only then I worked, now I am retired.  And loving retirement!

Took a great City Guides walking tour yesterday in Japantown.  I love these tours.  Volunteers lead the tours and each brings to the tour a passion for leading their particular tour.  Along with a wealth of info and tidbits about the part of The City that we are touring.  And it is donation-based with all the donations going to City Guides to support their work.  Here is the website
http://www.sfcityguides.org/
Learned yesterday about Jimbo's Bop City in Japantown in the 50's and 60's.  And discovered the smallest park in San Francisco on Cottage Row.  If you've done the City Guides tours, comment on your favorite.

Then there is this great website which lists all the free and cheap things to do in the Bay Area.
http://sf.funcheap.com/
There is usually something going on every day of the week.

And my favorite.....walking The City.  Let's see the possibilities are endless.   Walking along The Bay takes me from Aquatic Park all the way to Fort Point (below the Golden Gate Bridge).  And I can continue on towards Lands End and a part of a trail overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  Or Golden Gate Park (thousand-plus acres measuring three miles long by half a mile wide).  Or many fun neighborhoods.  Or the Embarcadero from Pier 39 to the Ferry Building to AT&T BallPark.  What's your favorite walk in The City?  Do comment.

Then there are Happy Hours.  These existed in Virginia when I moved here, yet not here then.  Now, this is my way of checking out a restaurant yet not spending much money for food and drink.  And being out and about solo when friends cannot join me.  HMMM...there is Farralon.  Fior d'Italia.  Cafe Divine.  Cafe Sapore.  Puccini and Pinetti.  Palomino.  Bummed that Asqew Grill closed while I was away last year...it had tables outside where I could catch some rays while noshing!  Oh well, change is inevitable.  Leave a comment if you have a favorite.

And all of the above awaits me for another day...I decided yesterday to work on computer things today.  Have a new laptop and getting it loaded with my programs and corresponding files.  And syncing with my phone.  And the weather is supporting me as it is gray outside!  Onward ho....to clearing out my old laptop and bringing the new one in!

 

 

 

Potential Value Versus Actual Value

Happy Father's Day...

I am enjoying the sun, the afternoon...re-reading Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer...sipping a glass of rose at a restaurant with outdoor seating.  Life is good!  And a butterfly landed on knee!  Life is very good!

And it's interesting to notice where in my life I have potential items, items I do not use versus actual items, items I use!  Where I keep the former convincing myself that they are the latter.

And now I step back and apply that to relationships or thoughts or beliefs.  All comes down to what serves me NOW not what served me in the past or potentially in the future.

All Good!

Pretty much.decided that I will take the next month to en-joy.  To holiday.  Allow myself time to practice, embody all my learnings from the two programs I completed.  Allow myself to celebrate the clear space in my field!  Celebrate!  Holiday!

I wish that for all that we celebrate the tiniest of successes, the tiniest of failures.  All good to help us see where and who we are NOW!