Today is Tuesday, 15 January 2013. I have this book that accompanies a card deck "Tao" by Timothy Freke. To help me move through my re-entry. The heaviness. The fog. The de-pression. Last week I began to sit quietly for a moment. with this book in my hands, then I ask Source, what am I to sit with today. I then open the book, allowing it open where it will.
Synchonistically, today is the third time in 9 days that the book opened to the following. Thank you for the reminders!
"Without desire or fear every dilemma spontaneously arrives at its natural solution." Zhun Mang
"Desire makes up pull the future to us and fear makes us push it away. Both fear and desire are rooted in the past. Desire is the memory of pleasure that we seek to repeat, and fear is the memory of pain that we seek to avoid. Fear and desire are our projections of the past into the future that prevent us fully experiencing the present........Our hopes and worries obscure the reality of the here and now, and prevent us living in harmony with Tao."
Yes, for each step I took away from Santiago and towards the life I left to go a-traveling and walk El Camino, I moved away from the simplicity of the here and now and of the El Camino. And towards the here and now of here. Where my fears, desires, wants, expectations awaited my return. "That" No surprise that I feel this heaviness, this fog, this de-pression from "That" pressing against me. As I allowed my desires, my fears to take me away from the present. And what great teachers "That" is being. As I hear El Camino whisper in my ear now "here and now". And the reading whisper "in harmony with what is".
Yes, I could fight the desires. The fears. The fog. The heaviness. The de-pression. I could deny them. I could do things to "cheer" me. And that would not be living in harmony with what is.
What "That" is teaching me is "knowing" when I am not here and now and instead in the past, the future, both. And for that I am grateful. As I hear El Camino again whisper in my ear now "here and now". And the reading again whisper "in harmony with what is".
I smile.
I am grateful for "That" and what I am learning from "That". How to give space to the energy of "That" and not allow myself to get draw into it.
I am grateful for the sun that is shining through the window and gracing the wall with its light. Illuminating the room with its brilliance. Warming this chilly room.
I am grateful for the bed I am sitting on that provided a warm, cozy place of rest and sleep last night.
I am grateful for this peaceful landing spot that Tom offered.
I am grateful for Tom's support and patience as "That" and I sat with each other. Not easy to be with someone when they are in the midst of "That"
I am grateful for the luzxury of a washer and dryer that I am using to wash sheets and towels.
I am grateful for the water from the tap that I am drinking as I type.
I am grateful for the gorgeous evergreen tree I see outside the window as I lay down in the bed for a rest.
I am grateful for the use and access to all six senses to "know" the path that I am to take in any given moment, to "see" the myriad of colors as I glance around this room, to "feel" the coolness of the floor permeate the thick soles of the shoes I'm wearing, to "smell" the sweetness of silence, to "hear" the sounds of life outside this apartment, to "taste" the film of last night's sleep and rest still lingering in my mouth.
I am grateful for the many blessings bestowed on me.
Thank you "That"! Thank you Source! Thank you God!
Buen Camino!
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