Happy 23 June and Happy Summer....

Happy 23 June and Happy Summer....

And now that I am holidaying from clearing out old boxes of items.  Or deciding what items to keep or discard ... welcome to my way of en-joying and exploring San Francisco.  Often Free.  Often Cheap.  Resurrected my days when I first moved to here -- 25 years ago -- only then I worked, now I am retired.  And loving retirement!

Took a great City Guides walking tour yesterday in Japantown.  I love these tours.  Volunteers lead the tours and each brings to the tour a passion for leading their particular tour.  Along with a wealth of info and tidbits about the part of The City that we are touring.  And it is donation-based with all the donations going to City Guides to support their work.  Here is the website
http://www.sfcityguides.org/
Learned yesterday about Jimbo's Bop City in Japantown in the 50's and 60's.  And discovered the smallest park in San Francisco on Cottage Row.  If you've done the City Guides tours, comment on your favorite.

Then there is this great website which lists all the free and cheap things to do in the Bay Area.
http://sf.funcheap.com/
There is usually something going on every day of the week.

And my favorite.....walking The City.  Let's see the possibilities are endless.   Walking along The Bay takes me from Aquatic Park all the way to Fort Point (below the Golden Gate Bridge).  And I can continue on towards Lands End and a part of a trail overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  Or Golden Gate Park (thousand-plus acres measuring three miles long by half a mile wide).  Or many fun neighborhoods.  Or the Embarcadero from Pier 39 to the Ferry Building to AT&T BallPark.  What's your favorite walk in The City?  Do comment.

Then there are Happy Hours.  These existed in Virginia when I moved here, yet not here then.  Now, this is my way of checking out a restaurant yet not spending much money for food and drink.  And being out and about solo when friends cannot join me.  HMMM...there is Farralon.  Fior d'Italia.  Cafe Divine.  Cafe Sapore.  Puccini and Pinetti.  Palomino.  Bummed that Asqew Grill closed while I was away last year...it had tables outside where I could catch some rays while noshing!  Oh well, change is inevitable.  Leave a comment if you have a favorite.

And all of the above awaits me for another day...I decided yesterday to work on computer things today.  Have a new laptop and getting it loaded with my programs and corresponding files.  And syncing with my phone.  And the weather is supporting me as it is gray outside!  Onward ho....to clearing out my old laptop and bringing the new one in!

 

 

 

Potential Value Versus Actual Value

Happy Father's Day...

I am enjoying the sun, the afternoon...re-reading Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer...sipping a glass of rose at a restaurant with outdoor seating.  Life is good!  And a butterfly landed on knee!  Life is very good!

And it's interesting to notice where in my life I have potential items, items I do not use versus actual items, items I use!  Where I keep the former convincing myself that they are the latter.

And now I step back and apply that to relationships or thoughts or beliefs.  All comes down to what serves me NOW not what served me in the past or potentially in the future.

All Good!

Pretty much.decided that I will take the next month to en-joy.  To holiday.  Allow myself time to practice, embody all my learnings from the two programs I completed.  Allow myself to celebrate the clear space in my field!  Celebrate!  Holiday!

I wish that for all that we celebrate the tiniest of successes, the tiniest of failures.  All good to help us see where and who we are NOW!

A Broom...

Noticing my thoughts and words I speak is enlightening.  Grateful for the two programs I completed last month which had me notice intentionally for class exercises.

A thought that I notice comes up for me often is 'I can make do with what I have and I don't want to spend money.'  And so what that does, is I end up using & keeping an item that most folks would discard because it has met its useful life.

Example:  the broom that ever since the beginning of this year....yes that's five months going on six....I have convinced myself whenever I use it... 'I can make do with what I have'.  'Let's not spend money to replace it.'  Even when the dustpan falls off the handle.  And it really does not sweep well.  Today, Source provides.  And sends me a message.  I took the plastic bags to Cole Hardware for recycling.  And the store was having 20% off everything in the store...so now I have a new broom and the old one is in the garbage!  And bonus, the broom came with a dustpan that fits on the handle!  I am happy!  I am worth it!  Thank you Source for the 20% discount!

Clearing Of Items..Continued

Good Morning Thursday, 6 June 2013. 06/06. Been two months since my last blog post.

And what a ride it has been. A lot of noticing the thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs either that show up as I decide to keep or discard items in my home. Or get into emotional, difficult arguments with Tom so they grow our relationship versus destroy.

Thank you Source for guiding me during April to complete the Managing Anger 8-week course & the Overcoming Hoarding 6-week course. And seeking a somatic psychotherapist. All Good to emotionally and mentally support me as I take "a lot of noticing" and practice different responses.

The Overcoming Hoarding course helped me identify my "keeping" and "avoiding" thoughts and beliefs as I go from item to item. So that now I practice "letting go" thoughts.....one item at a time. And practice "do I truly need this" thoughts.....one item at a time.

The Managing Anger course helped me identify the triggers, the feelings that preceded my angry reaction. Now I practice how to articulate what I am feeling, thinking, believing. "Responding" feels way more powerful, loving, caring than "reacting", so that soon I will react the same way I respond.

The therapy provides me a professional space to be witnessed and heard, so that in that space, I find whatever it is I need to continue my day-to-day practices.

And where am I today....how am I?

Exhausted. Grieving. The past seven days I balanced between self-care and setting up for a garage sale that my neighbor and I had this past Saturday and Sunday. And then taking down after the sale. The folks from my Overcoing Hoarding course were great in providing moral support. As were Tom, my friends and sister Nancy. Now I am just feeling the effects of letting go of a lot of items. There were the items donated on Tuesday. And items still left to be donated. And the items boxed and taken into my storage unit in the basement for the next garage sale. Am proud of me and all the items that left my living space. Yet today, I feel the emptiness of the drawers, shelves, space in rooms. The sadness mixed with euphoria of accomplishment. The grateful mixed with loneliness as I sit in silence here now, typing.

Yes, this is grieving as I am reminded of this definition from The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman...."Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior." And I am reminded that I am betwixt-between.....transitioning from my former way of being into a different way of being.....practicing different ways of responding. Definitely time to be extra-kind and extra-gentle to myself. As I learned walking Camino de Santiago, some days I just need to stay in one place, not walk and instead rest, en-joy not walking. And so it is in Life.

On that note.....time for food, water, and rest.